Help, I'm in a slump.

allthepughugs · 2014-11-14T09:07:34+00:00

I'm a bit older than you (post-university, mid 20's) but my situation was nearly identical--1.5 years 'official' and 4 years as 'more than friends friends'. I was transferred out of the country (from Texas) for work and we had to do that terrible 'countdown to break up' thing because we decided that long-distance would probably leave us both bitter and wounded. So good on you for getting back on the metaphorical horse and moving on from a very painful situation.

You have the very significant benefit of coming out of your break up fairly unscathed and baggage free--you don't have to reconstruct your ability to trust women, or rebuild your confidence in the wake of a toxic relationship--this is your silver lining and I expect you'll be just fine if you give yourself time.

Since time is a limiting factor for a college student you have to be a little smarter about structuring your social life to maximize your exposure to new people and new friends. I would suggest getting involved with a club or intramural team associated with your university or city you live in. My university had coed leagues for softball, volleyball, kickball, touch football and so on, as well as groups for more special interest activities like hiking, rock climbing, bowling, photography, SCUBA diving (learning how in the pool, not actual ocean adventures), geochaching, pub trivia...The benefit here is that you can cover several bases with a single weekly time commitment--you'll expand your social circle several times over, get some exercise/build a new skill, and have a natural shared topic of conversation/inside jokes/interesting anecdotes with the girls involved in your chosen activity and associated with the group as a whole (you know, the friends of friends). In my experience, that is how relationships develop naturally, and you'll never have to chalk up several wasted hours at a bar or coffee shop trying to chat up girls.

If it was easy before it can be easy again with a bit of adaptation to circumstance. You have an optimistic attitude where so many others have pessimism and bitterness--already that is one huge obstacle behind you. Best of luck!

childishgames · 2014-11-14T17:57:07+00:00

I'm constantly going through extended hot and cold streaks with my game. I cannot explain it at all. I never can tell what i'm doing differently when I'm doing well vs. badly. I think it is just a difference in my mind-frame. All I can say is that when I'm doing well, I don't care about anything except having a good time. Rejections don't bother me. My friends discouraging me, putting me down, etc. doesn't bother me. Me being an idiot doesn't bother me. I'm just trying to have fun.

Title	Help, I'm in a slump.
Author	Bananas_Npyjamas
Upvotes	2
Comments	2
Date	November 14, 2014 4:45 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2m987s/help_im_in_a_slump/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-im-in-a-slump.1379626 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379626

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