Made plans to go out on date. Come around to pick her up, she's hanging out with friends.

txroller · 2014-11-17T06:07:40+00:00

you handled it fine and your feelings about it now are spot on too

recyclablebantha · 2014-11-17T11:28:24+00:00

Tried my best to seem socially competent but couldnt. It was just so odd - I was suppose to go on a 1 on 1 date with the girl at some restaurant and was ready for that. Not what I experienced that day.

I arrive at this girl's house and she's hanging out with 3-4 other people. I let them pressure me into staying.

Main question: How do you politely excuse yourself from a gathering or get into a mindset that allows you to be able to be social to everyone?

You didn't lose. SHE did. She showed herself to be lacking in a backbone or lame beyond belief, for a stunt like this. She's not worth your time. This kind of rejection makes it easy enough to bear in mind why you should move on.

In the end I felt that I did alright. I did get to hang out with them and I expressed a lot of interest in what they were talking about but I just couldnt keep up due to being so outnumbered by people who are so much more intelligent in the subject.

You don't need to "keep up." It shouldn't matter if someone is "so much more intelligent" than you in a subject. You just ask questions and it actually puts you in the driver's seat of the conversation, as the whole thing will revolve around the answers to questions you bring up, etc. Of course, you don't have to be the center, all the time, but the point is that you can still wield influence in a conversation, without being the "most knowledgeable."

I'm not going to contact her again but incase this happens with other friends or even other girls -

Well, that was a shitty move on her part. As far as you are concerned, it shouldn't be so much about not wanting to relate to random people, so much as the fact that this girl didn't have the balls to just say she didn't want to go, she invited people over to her place to give her an out, rather than telling you. Real dick move.

This shit is a two-way street and she failed with her part.

how do you all push yourself into the mindset of being socialable with people that are clearly not "relating" to you? Like for the guys with wives out there - do you wives ever bring you along to social gatherings in which you feel like you don't really click with the main social theme or whatever?

I usually ask questions about whatever people are talking about, look for general ways that the basic human motivations and emotions involved with the topic, and then it's pretty easy to relate to the topic and perhaps bring the conversation to an interesting place because you might have a fresh take for someone looking in on the outside.

Or if I truly don't enjoy their company, I excuse myself from their gatherings. No reason you should have to be there if you don't want to be, wife/girlfriend or not.

2014-11-17T09:15:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-11-17T08:59:17+00:00

That's a tough spot to be put in. If you made it clear to her that it was a date, then she is partly to blame for it. After they were asking you to stay, I would've said just for a few minutes or so, depending on what they were doing, but then say that you didn't want to fall behind on your plans for the date ("this place we're going to closes in an hour," "i have to get back a bit early tonight because I have work," "we want to get good seats," etc). This way, you're nice about them inviting you to stay, but at the same time establish that you're there to take your girl out for a date.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-11-17T06:09:30+00:00

I let them pressure me into staying.

Oops. You fucked up.

You are at a disadvantage on her home turf. Get her away from her friends and her places. Take her out of her routine.

Title	Made plans to go out on date. Come around to pick her up, she's hanging out with friends.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	November 17, 2014 6:04 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2mjc50/made_plans_to_go_out_on_date_come_around_to_pick/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/made-plans-to-go-out-on-date-come-around-to-pick.1379746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379746

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