If pickup is one of your big interests, how do you stay happy and alpha in a long term relationship?

NewToUni · 2015-02-28T06:22:02+00:00

For instance, this is a comment from a thread about maintaining an alpha mindset in an LTR:

"Don't stop doing the things you did that attracted her to begin with. Don't think 'well now that I've got her, I don't need to game(don't like using this word in this context) her anymore.'"

What if before I was with her, the thing I enjoyed doing was meeting new girls?

Big_TX · 2015-02-28T08:48:34+00:00

Idk.

Probably you need a purpose. And you need to be on it. That is advices that gets passed around a lot. It came from The way of the Superior Man.

You need to find a purpose and more at it.

I think money is a good one to start with. It's extreamly important most people so thing about how much money they will need to down in the future and if you figure out a better puropse later having money will help.

I'm not the best person to be giving advice on this matter. This is just some thought to think about. I hope it helps

cpcallen · 2015-02-28T13:56:42+00:00

Whether or not you're allowed to hit on other women when you're in a relationship is entirely up to you and your girlfriend to decide.

Many people in monogamous relationships are allowed to meet, flirt with, and generally enjoy non-physically-intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex. (In fact, I would question just how healthy a heterosexual relationship was if either person tried to prevent the other from having such opposite-sex friendships.)

For many people, seeing that their partner is still attractive to other people helps keep the attraction alive, and condone (or even encourage) extra-relationship flirting while still being sexually exclusive. An ex-colleague of mine is a perfect example of this: he and his wife agree that "it doesn't matter where you work up your appetite, as long as you eat at home".

Outside of sexually monogamous couples, there are many, many other kinds of relationships.

Some folks are socially monogamous but sexually non-monogamous, including swingers, people with low libido or in long-distance relationships who 'give their partner a pass' to get physical needs met outside of the relationship, folks with bisexual partners who let them have same-sex flings on the side or enjoy threesomes together and so on, all of which fall into the general category of the "ethically non-monogamous" (as opposed to those who are cheating).

Then there is polyamory, which means "multiple loves" and generally includes relationsihps where people have multiple romantic relationships. This can mean a huge variety of different kinds of relationships, including closed vees/triads/quads/moresomes, open marriages (closeted or otherwise), group marriages, the solo polyamorists, and many others.

In addition to all of the above links, there is a (very low-traffic) subreddit specifically people like you who are interested in both pick-up and meaningful long-term relationships: /r/PUApolyamory.

There are many different kinds of relationships, and it's worth thinking carefully about what you actually want the rules of your relationship(s) to be rather than blindly accepting the understood social norm (which you will in any case often find people have very different ideas about anyway).

Talk to your girlfriend about what you want the expectations to be in your relationship. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want - you may find that you will get it. But be aware that she gets a say too, and that you may have to decide between this relationship and the opportunity to pursue the kind of relationship that you really want/need.

And know, too, that every arrangement has it's downside: the guys who think it's awesome that their girlfriend is cool with having an open relationship until they realise that she gets way more attention than he does; the women in open relationships who get lots of attention - but all from married guys looking to cheat; the poly folk who find they have infinite love but not infinite time, and depend on Google Calendar to schedule their romantic lives weeks in advance, etc., etc.

livinghonestly · 2015-02-28T19:48:35+00:00

If you use the phrase "how do you stay happy and alpha" you don't understand what being alpha ever truly was about.

nofapbrovah · 2015-02-28T11:21:39+00:00

If doing this "beta" things makes you happy, why should you change

khuram008 · 2015-02-28T10:30:10+00:00

One must learn to grow mature. Real alpha men do not really care about being alone and they do not run chasing every girl on streets

Title	If pickup is one of your big interests, how do you stay happy and alpha in a long term relationship?
Author	NewToUni
Upvotes	15
Comments	15
Date	February 28, 2015 6:20 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2xfudk/if_pickup_is_one_of_your_big_interests_how_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-pickup-is-one-of-your-big-interests-how-do-you.1384627 https://theredarchive.com/post/1384627

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