Fighting capability / dealing with douchebags

C_D_O · 2013-11-23T11:27:00+00:00

Boxing is a fantastic decision especially if you have good coach, which is unfortunately rare these days.

Now as to your questions: - yes. Its important. From a confidence standpoint and a reality standpoint. But keep in mind self defense also means not being stupid and not placing yourself in situations likely to result in you getting attacked.

I need you to expand on this, what exactly do you mean? If you're talking about dealing with some guy trying to socially dominate you, do it right back to him. Make fun of him or if hes trying to do typical social dominance behavior like touching you tell him to not to fucking touch you.
Rarely. Most men are cowards truly, they are testing the fence so to speak, if you fold they just ramp up the aggression because they have an easy mark. If someone makes a vague threat and you tell him "you threaten me again and I'll knock your fucking teeth down your throat" 90% of guys will shut right up or pretend like they didnt hear you. But everyone knows.

Keep in mind I'm giving you MY perspective as a competitive fighter. I'm an experienced boxer so the prospect of some drunk college kid trying to fight me doesn't really shake my boots. Of course I am scared anytime a confrontation is on the table, thats the body's physiological response to a potentially dangerous situation, you will never - and should never - get rid of that adrenaline response.

So your mileage may vary.

mach11 · 2013-11-23T17:16:28+00:00

You don't have to be tough to be powerful, you don't have to be "better" to be more attractive, and you don't have to fight to be assertive. You do have to be calm, cool and collected.

The people I know who are dangerous for a living are all decent and polite because they know what the cost of the alternative can be. It's called diplomacy and if you're good at it you'll win all your fights without ever going to war.

Mr_Bell · 2013-11-23T12:32:08+00:00

Women don't like violence, because it's dangerous and you can hurt yourself!!! OMG

Also most of them will find that men who fight are kinda childish.

But they do like the perceived notion of violence, as they do with anything else (they like the perceived notion of rape, not rape itself).

That being said, you should not engage in fights. The best defense strategy in any martial art is not needing to use it. Learning to defend yourself can actually give you a boost in confidence, which is useful to be assertive in any situation. If fighting becomes inevitable, just walk away. You'll look a lot more alpha for taking control of the situation.

Besides, why risking getting hurt over something stupid?

Joshua44 · 2013-11-23T15:25:59+00:00

Is it that important to be able to defend myself physically?

In my experience it is rarely necessary to physically defend yourself. Surprisingly the only bar fights I've ever seen have either been women fighting over the same man, or drunk guys fighting over sports. However, carrying yourself in a strong confident manner helps. They won't pick on you directly unless they are drunk.

How do you deal with supposedly stronger competition in social context even when being fighting-capable?

As a social matter you can dress in a more classy way (wear a quality suit, but don't go around advertising the brand label). Physically, if d-bags are going to make trouble for you I would expect it would be harassment. They might get you pissed off until you do something so completely stupid it gives them the "right" to gang roll you.

Your experiences of being assertive to the point of being physically confrontational - how often does it escalate in the direction of fight?

Rarely. You should avoid doing anything physical to escalate the situation. If someone is in your face just use condescending cliches like "back off kid, you're annoying me". "You're still here?", or whatever. You don't want anything the d-bag does or says to upset you and force you to take the first swing. But I really don't think any of that is a big risk, and if it is you may be better served by re-assessing your surroundings. Keep in mind there are some women who get off on watching guys fight over them. These skanks are absolute bosses at pushing their man's buttons. Don't be her tool, she doesn't "like" you, she just wants to see him fight and you're the punching bag.

EDIT: I wanted to be clear that while I believe fighting outside the ring is pretty stupid I don't want to discourage anyone from pursing any form of martial arts or athletics which benefit them physically and psychologically. If you enjoy it, by all means get good at boxing, get damn good at it and know your physical abilities can serve you very well IF they were ever needed. But don't go looking for a fight and avoid participating in one if it is reasonably possible to avoid it. The risks can be quite high both physically and legally. While most "punks" are just that, and can and "should" be taken out with one or two good face punches you never know who is going to have a knife, brass knuckles, or a few overly loyal wing men who will lie to the cops about what really happened.

Title	Fighting capability / dealing with douchebags
Author	AuspiciousGroove
Upvotes	14
Comments	19
Date	November 23, 2013 10:29 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1ra3na/fighting_capability_dealing_with_douchebags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fighting-capability-dealing-with-douchebags.138496 https://theredarchive.com/post/138496

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