Got a story from this past weekend that shows the power of having a strong social circle and being able to think on your feet.

I went down to NYC for the weekend with a friend. While I'm college aged, the majority of my social circle in New York consists of people at least three years older than I am, due to the nature of events that I attend.

Since it has been quite some time since I have been back to the city, I hit up a lot of my buddies and I make plans to meet up with three or four different friend groups at a beer hall in Brooklyn. Some of these friend groups include attractive women who are traveling an hour and a half plus just to come out and have a beer with me.

Meeting up

One of my best buddies brings a cutie (HB 8.5) out to hang out with us for the evening. At first she seems a bit cold, but I figure it's because she just needs some time to get used to us. At the first bar we met at, I make some solid beer recommendations for her (she is a beer drinker) and she starts warming up to me. For a few hours beforehand, I had been talking to the bartenders about their beer selection and they actually invite me into their closed-off back room in front of her, which definitely helped me look better. Got to check out an awesome rare beer collection, which was awesome!

I start flirting with her at this point, although not in as much of a sexual tone as of yet (we are in front of our mutual friend and two of my friends at this point), and being discreet at the right times shows that I have social awareness. But I still wanted to build attraction, so I sat at the head of the table, at a right angle to her, with our legs touching, and teased her about various different things.

She mentioned that she was on OKCupid, to which I said that she looked familiar, and told her that I think that she ignored my messages and gave her a ton of shit for being overly judgemental (I do vaguely recognize her, but wasn't 100% sure about that). She starts warming up to me at this point, and starts to flirt back with me.

As we prepare to bounce to the next bar and meet up with the various groups, I take the lead and get people moving and set the pace of the rest of the evening. We walk over to the bar and I spend some time locating everyone and corralling a huge group of people into a corner of the bar so that we could all meet each other and get some conversations going.

Three separate people ask us if we're dating at this point, and I tease her again by saying things like, "We are actually married! But I leave my ring off at home because I'm afraid of making other people too jealous," and "See, [HB 8.5]? This just means we look good together," to which my female friends all agree.

Escalating and flirting more heavily

At this point, there is a lot of social activity happening, so we duck out to grab a beer and she asks for my next recommendation. I pick an awesome weißbier (for you beer nerds out there, try the Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier) and she likes it so much that she drinks it all night. I show her that I'm open to adventure by only drinking new beers all night.

At this point, I'm flirting with her pretty heavily, with lots of lower back kino and leg touching going on. Every time she pulls out her phone, I tease her for being bored (she isn't, and keeps giggling and apologizing). She keeps repeating that I'm a lot of fun and that she can't believe that she didn't talk to me on OKCupid. I just smirk and keep giving her shit. She doesn't shit test me at all at this point, because I'm essentially shit testing her continuously.

Heading to the club

Eventually, everyone else starts to get tired and the groups are dispersing, so my friend invites the core group that I was with at the beginning to go to a new gay club with him and dance. I wasn't tired at all and wanted to dance so we agreed and everyone piled into my car and off we went to Hell's Kitchen (is that you, Daredevil?)

I'm having trouble finding a parking spot, but we need to pee, so I park illegally for a few seconds and the two of us duck into a bar to use the restroom. I wait for her to finish and in the hallway (it was pretty secluded) I decide to make a move and go for the kiss. She moves her head to the side at the last second and says that she doesn't really know me that well yet and just giggles. I momentarily freeze her out (just give her a cocky smile and don't say anything) to push-pull and walk back to the car with her.

When we get into the club, she goes off and buys two drinks for us, and I'm just having a good time dancing. When she gets back, bachata music is playing, and I ask her if she knows how to dance to it. She tells me that she can't dance very well at all, and I just take her hands without saying anything and show her the basic steps. Now, I'm not the best Hispanic dancer (I'm more of a freestyle/rave dancer personally) but I can still lead well enough.

Triple shit tests

The music turns more to disco at this point, and I spin her around and get really close to her. At this point, she's giggling and I can tell that she wants to kiss me. I go for the kiss again, but she says that she doesn't want my friends to know (yeah, right. First real shit test). I silently take her hand and lead her to the other side of the dance floor. She then tells me that she doesn't even know me (second shit test) to which I say, "Neither do I! That's the point of the first date, which we'll have next time, right?" with a shit-eating grin on my face. She giggles, but has one more for me: "You're still in school!" I have no response so I just grab her face and kiss her deeply.

She's a great kisser and we spend the next hour grinding up on each other and making out. I know that we won't be able to do anything too heavy tonight (I have to take care of my buddies) so I get pretty bite-y with my kissing, to which she says, "You're a biter, huh?" with a seductive look on her face. I could tell she wants it, but at this point, I don't really escalate further because the logistics aren't there. Eventually, she is too tired and wants to go home, and she calls an Uber. I walk her to the car, give her another kiss, and send her home with a promise to take her out when I get back in two weeks.

Points to take from this

  • Social circles, especially with attractive women, are pre-selection and show a girl that you are a cool guy who people want to do cool guy things with.
  • Always be escalating, but show social awareness by reading what is appropriate at a given time. Girls want you to be able to know what they are thinking without having to explicitly state things.
  • Show passion in your interactions. I am passionate about cocktails and beer, so I like to take girls to places where I've built up relationships with bartenders (comp'd drinks and getting invited into secret back rooms looks great).
  • Don't get discouraged because of resistance. Always assume that it's going to happen, and unless she really 100% pushes you away, just keep softly persisting. Don't be dumb and do something that she's not comfortable with (goes back to social awareness), but assume that she wants it too.
  • It's important to be able to think on your feet. There aren't any clear-cut answers that you should be firing back for shit tests or conversations always, but wit goes a long way. Think of what James Bond would say to a girl at a given point. He's not really a comedian, but knows how to deliver powerful lines.
  • It's not always what you are, but what she perceives you to be. At the surface, I am a student who is younger than her, but I showed that none of that affects me in the slightest and brought my SMV up that much more by passing her tests on those subjects.
  • A lot of the time, sheer absurdity will make a girl want to stay around you just to see what will happen next. Who even invites a girl to go dancing at a gay club? Always keep them on their toes and guessing. I am a huge fan of absurd humor and just say the most ridiculous things (in context, of course).