The line between what you are and what you want to become.

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-07-19T17:54:38+00:00

I have always wanted to become very good looking and make girls just stare at me and fall in love just by one look. This is my realest and purest dream of my life, I still wanna become so good looking that girls fall in love and me just getting all of girls' attention in the streets.

Be careful. This is an easy way to make yourself miserable.

Carl Jung described our psychological internal images. He said every person has an archetypal mental image of an ideal man and ideal woman. It is built up from our experiences and what we learn in a social environment. He called them the Anima and Animus. His primary intent was to describe our "shadow," for example, every man has an internalized image of a woman (anima) which expresses itself through his personality, particularly when interacting with women.

However I believe there is a more important consideration. Every man has internalized an Animus, the archetypal man. Subconsciously, we constantly measure ourselves to this animus, and we could never come close. We may even consciously explore our archetypes, as you are doing, trying to describe the specific ideals we may strive to achieve.

But in doing so, you can make yourself miserable. We can never measure up to our superhuman archetype of a man. We can never be handsome enough, rich, powerful, or attractive enough. So we compare ourselves to that animus, and find ourselves lacking. The higher the ideals we may have, the farther away we are. We measure the difference between our mere selves, and our idealized self, that difference is a measurement of our misery.

I believe it would be better to have an idealized image of yourself, that is exactly what you are now. Your life up to now, has been an effort to become the best version of yourself. Your goals may change over time, so your progress may become unclear. You might even have conflicting goals, for example, you probably could not become an Olympic gold medalist weightlifter and a neurosurgeon, simultaneously. So we have to make choices about our ideals, and be realistic. It is not necessarily important to have lofty goals, it is more important to be mindful of our present existence, and make good choices about where we are heading, not comparing it to where we believe we should be.

Similarly, we must not build up too high an ideal of the woman we seek. A highly developed Anima sets an unrealistic, unattainable ideal. No woman could possibly compare to our archetypal woman. We see a woman through our Anima, it prevents us from seeing the real woman.

We all spend way too much time comparing where we are, what we are, to what we think we should be. Our measurement of the difference between what is, and what we think could be, is a measure of how miserable we can make ourselves.

Morokweng · 2015-07-19T17:35:29+00:00

I have always wanted to become very good looking and make girls just stare at me and fall in love just by one look. This is my realest and purest dream of my life, I still wanna become so good looking that girls fall in love and me just getting all of girls' attention in the streets.

This seems like it comes from insecurity, and a need for validation, and probably isn't a healthy goal.

Girls are attracted to guys all the time, but they don't sleep with every man that they find attractive, they certainly aren't going to approach you. So no matter what you do you're going to have to fix your shit one way or another.

As long as you're not morbidly obese or a skeleton, and are reasonably in-shape, then that's all most people need. You can get a chiseled physique if you want, but you're more likely just going to have to turn down a lot of fat girls and gay men.

Title	The line between what you are and what you want to become.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	July 19, 2015 4:55 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3dukhu/the_line_between_what_you_are_and_what_you_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-line-between-what-you-are-and-what-you-want-to.1391251 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391251

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