Wall of text, sorry...

I went out recently to an organised party/rave but the person I was supposed to go with had flaked so I went alone.

I had to get all negative thoughts out of my head of being a man alone among big groups of people having fun. Just push on and get on with it. So I did.

When I got there my first approach was to a guy I recognised from a previous party, I initiated a conversation with him about it. This helped me get into state. Never underestimate the power of just talking to guys randomly. It does help a lot.

Then I met someone I know through someone else and tagged along and talked and danced with them a bit. It would have been all too easy to hang out with this group all night, they were very friendly and we had good conversations.

But I wanted to meet single girls.

A cute one sidled up next to me at the bar, I was pleased I quickly got the talk a bit sexual, teasing her she looked like Amy Adams. Before I knew it I had blurted out "I have always found her really fuckable."

Held eye contact, smiled. She was quite shocked but I thought quite open to me. Anyway she went off to the toilet with her friends eventually and I thought it was such a small venue I would bump into her later, I think she wanted to keep talking but I didn't get hung up on her I just used it to give me momentum and I moved on.

Went out to the smoking area and tried to have open approachable body language while chilling on a wall. Next thing I know there are loads of random people talking to me, a group of guys and then girls. Don't know how it happened, maybe I got lucky? I think the girls noticed the guys were interested in what I had to say and came up to hear what it was. I just used kino and humour and got both of their numbers in about 5-10 minutes. One for business purposes and the other under the guise of "let's be music swap buddies" which nearly always works for me when I get on the subject of dance music and my favourite tunes.

She was hot. I went back in with her and danced, I could sense she was interested but I asked her directly if she had a boyfriend and she told me the truth so I binned her and walked off because I 'needed to find my friends'.

A few seconds after leaving her another pretty girl accidentally brushed into me. I turned around, took her hand and said "you really should be more careful" (playfully). Immediate rapport - and I then led her outside because I wanted to smoke. She followed. I said I wanted to sit on the wall and she should join. She said she couldn't get up on it. So I lifted her up with my hands underneath her arse.

A few minutes later I said I was ready to dance. I led her back in and we started grinding a bit and dancing close, I span her around a bit. Constant eye contact from me and I kissed her very quickly. Kissed a few times and we got a drink together. Already had her number in my phone, she said she needed to find her friend so I let her get on. I said we would keep in touch and maybe catch up later. She did text me later asking "where is the after party" but I ignored it.

Back outside in the smoking area. Girl came up and asked for a cigarette. Immediately she then starts praising me for my strong eye contact saying how 'amazing' it is, she's a sales coach and trains people on this. Honestly she was so annoying and full of herself (I know loads about sales too and have read several books on NLP but she wouldn't let me talk) ...but I could have pulled her if I wanted to. Instead I just teased her to get her to fuck off. She led us into another conversation with a different random girl who I was soon semi cuddling to the point it got awkward, and the other girl realised what was going on and excused herself.

Talked with this girl a while and we hit it off. I very directly told her I thought she was attractive. Her behaviour told me she had a boyfriend, she was a bit taken aback and shy I think. I think she was attracted to me but for whatever reason nothing was going to happen.

I realise when analysing this night that I just wasn't giving any fucks about any outcomes, just fluidly moving on from one social situation to another. Kino and strong eye contact and projecting my voice deeply, talking slower, but being interesting and passionate with the things I talked about.

The night ended and everyone was leaving. Rather than call the girl I kissed earlier I phoned a girl I've been seeing a bit and she got a taxi into town to meet me. I then spent the rest of the night balls deep. I shagged her within an hour of meeting her a few nights previously but that's another story entirely!

Can I just say... The person writing this is totally fucking unrecognisable from the one who began reading Seddit 3 or 4 months ago and was in a long term relationship for many years before that. I've now had sex with 7 women since this journey began (4 were on the first date), and the quality of them has been surprisingly high as my friend often reminds me. Thanks guys. Anyone who has ever contributed here, you've helped change my life.

P.S. I have texted the girl I kissed suggesting that as I have already kissed her the next logical date would be for her to cook for me and for us to have sex. I know, douchebag move, right? I realise I don't care what she says or if she never texts me again. Tonight I learned I am closer to being an outcome-independent guy than I thought I was. I wasn't needy with any of the girls I interacted with. I was the buyer. Progress is being made.