I[20M] went out with a good friend[24F] of mine. We used to date and we had a bit of a falling out for a few months.

We're hanging out again every like 3 weeks (incompatible schedules) and it's kind of close. She has a long distance/term boyfriend even when we were dating before.

While we were hanging out, we would hold hands and hug. She grabbed my butt and I would poke her chest or grab hers back. She would drop things like "ah my butt's too big to get in the car" in a joking manner because she knows I like her butt. We spent the whole day together. In the car, she took off her glasses like she used to when we wanted to make out and I kind of went to the side for a hug. Then in the car ride home she called me a boy, not a man. I said something I don't remember and she said that she was hoping I wouldn't say that I was going to prove it.

At the end, when she was dropping me off at my house, the same thing happened. She took off her glasses and I went for a hug. I tried going for a kiss and she said no. I kept asking if I could kiss her (I know begging was a BAD move, but I kind of get in a locked in mindset when I'm nervous) and she kept saying no. She said that she had a boyfriend, I asked about before when we dated and she says I don't know. She told me I should leave before she can't control herself.

We texted afterwards and she asked about my feelings. I said that I liked her and I'm attracted to her but there's a line we shouldn't cross. Then she said she felt the same.

I said that I remember how my lips felt before but I know it's bad. She said I shouldn't think too much about this she went to bed.

Now we're here. Did I kill the attraction she had? Should I not pursue? I really like her, but I don't think we have a future together (she wants kids, I don't think I want kids right now). I just want to have my sexual desires fulfilled and I feel like she wanted to, too.