So I have gone on several online date. One with a girl from Okcupid that I really liked, one from tinder that was cute. The one from Okc went well on the first date, shook hands goodbye. Second date went well too but I had the sense that she was timid, perhaps a bit rigid, and therefore escalated kino by holding hands and K-closed perhaps being afraid that if I didn't escalate, she would have friend zoned me. Third date, escalated even more with leg touching, hair touching, but in the end she ended saying she didn't feel comfortable with all the touching. My question is when is kino too much? I feel like I would not have been able to get a third date if I didn't escalate.

the girl from tinder, kino was easier and was able to make out quite heavily with her on the second date at my place including fingering and breast touching, she seemed pleased but said she's not used to going to fast on second date. again, no answer for third date.

Do you guys have any suggestion as material to read up on kino escalation without scaring the girl off? thanks