FR on Talking with Female Friend I'm Interested in (College, Dorming):

recyclablebantha · 2015-11-06T19:24:53+00:00

I've known this friend for about a year now........Just wondering what you all's opinion is on how this is looking.

Look, right off, I really don't have to read more. When you wait a YEAR without making a move, you establish yourself as a nonsexual person to them. Someone that they don't take seriously as a sexual or romantic prospect.

Think about it: People know who they're into within minutes of meeting. You wanted weeks, months.... no, a YEAR, without making a move. Anyone who was into you, would have moved on LONG ago.

I'm going to need to go slow, it seems, and I haven't seen this person since last year and once walking by them. Any suggestions?

Yeah. I suggest making a move sooner. Don't wait a YEAR next time. You are incorrect. You didn't need to go slow. You needed to make a move months ago!

We liked to banter with each other and I think she flirted with me at times.

No. This comes off friendly. If she was interested, you kind of squashed it by rejecting her for the last year.

This year, I rarely see her since she's in a different building and has different classes. I decided to get her # by asking a mutual friend to deliver a note that supposedly had class info in it.

This move basically said, "I lack the confidence to come at you directly and actually speak to you in person." If you had any chance at that point, you burned it down at this point.

Awkward move.

The note said:

Hey (my friend), Here's my # (number). You should text me! :D

And to top it off, you made the milk-toast move of giving her your number and putting upon her to call you. Look, even when girls like to initiate, it's a turn-off when a guy lacks the confidence to communicate directly, passes a note, and then continues to pass the buck by asking her to initiate communication with YOU. Even when you're being indirect, you're still being even more indirect. You're coming off like you can't communicate for yourself and require her to handle your side of the interation, as well as hers. Do you realize how exhausting this would be for her to even consider?

Me: Hey! So was my note convincing at first, or am I not so sneaky? Her: my friend was fooled but I was pretty aware

And even after all that....... even after more than a YEAR and a weak note, you've failed to ask her out! You've friend-zoned yourself several times over here, man.

Me: I just finished my midterm, we should hang out! When are you free? Her: Ah, I can't today, I just [specific stuff] and now have class, sorry :(

And when you finally got around to it, a YEAR too late and after a weak note, she clearly rejected you. End of story.

Take the lesson and move on. Make moves faster next time.

JakeApproaches · 2015-11-06T06:55:12+00:00

get her # by asking a mutual friend to deliver a note

Next time, ask the girl in person. It shows a lot more courage.

you: "Hey Anna, you're looking awesome in that hat today." (sincere, sexual compliment displays your intention)
her: "Thanks, Jake."
you: "Hey I'm on my way to class. Let's walk and talk for 2 minutes." (time constraint)
[back and forth convo]
you: "Well, I've gotta go. And like I said, you look great today. I'd still like to hear more about <something from convo>. What do you say we meet for coffee on Tuesday."

Did you get stuck in the rain today?... Ugh, I still need to get an umbrella... Hey, how'd class registration go?

Mindset: Guys are attracted to girls. And vice-versa.

Goal: less banter and initiate earlier

When are you free?

What about making it easier on girls. e.g. "What do you say we get coffee at <coffee shop> on Tuesday"

Title	FR on Talking with Female Friend I'm Interested in (College, Dorming):
Author	TG_Super_Class
Upvotes	0
Comments	2
Date	November 6, 2015 4:07 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3rq0iu/fr_on_talking_with_female_friend_im_interested_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-on-talking-with-female-friend-im-interested-in.1397148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397148

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