How do you mentally overcome a sexless youth which involves missing out on sex during your formative years and college?

YamanekoBlues · 2015-11-09T07:13:31+00:00

the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. the second best time is now.

-some Chinese guy

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-11-09T08:40:13+00:00

Another guy posted this exact same question today. You're complaining about something that happened (or didn't happen) in the past. Maybe your current life isn't good enough to you yet if you are hung up about it?

No one gives a shit if you got laid in the past or not (except for yourself apparently).

My pick up/party life started after I finished uni, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's what I wrote on yet another thread about the same damn topic.

It's absolutely crazy that people in this thread are legitimately worried that college is the end, as if people don't have fun anymore in the real world. I definitely believe it gets better. Being independent is a source of core confidence. The fact that everything isn't just handed to you like in school makes makes each experience more valuable IMO. Women will ALWAYS love crazy sex, and will seek it from men they find attractive. As long as you're living a life that YOU want to be living, being out of school gives you value that a school kid doesn't have. Put two and two together.

Big_TX · 2015-11-09T16:50:53+00:00

College is romanticized in media. It's mostly meeting someone then like trying to to see eachother despite busy schedules. Then stuff not working due to limited time.

Sorority girls arnt usually exclusive high status people. They usually just all get togeather then reinforce bad behaviors and ideas.

There is a joke "how do you get 4 sorority girls to sit on a bar stool? You turn it upside down"

Also nowadays they dress like shit. They just get a baggy men's shits.

College isant like Blue Mountain State.

And you have to deal with Girls immaturity (and your own).

Just try to accept your loss like a loset parent or dog or something. But also know you missed out on less than you thought.

And if you want an emotional connection don't sleep around so much. Of You constraintly give your brain tums of options it will never get attached to a girl and feelings won't form.

You could try meditation. You are dwelling on the past and it is making you unhappy. Vs focusing on what is good in your life now.

(I don't know much about meditation but it is soposed to help with stuff like that)

recyclablebantha · 2015-11-09T17:23:01+00:00

Lets say that for whatever reason, you missed out on sex during your high school and college years and were late to the party.

Okay. Easy. Because I did. And I didn't even really attend parties. When I did, it was pretty much a terrible time. The only party I can recall being invited to, was because some cute girl I knew wanted to set me up with her extremely unattractive friend.

Rather than being the cool kid who was getting laid in high school or the frat boy who was fucking girls during college, you missed out on sex during those years when so many people are experiencing it for the first time.

Yep. Got it. What else you got?

The years where it is all so fun, something to brag about, and just something that so many guys are experiencing for the first time. Just how you are in a big community of people your age, have so much in common with them, your hormones are running high, and things like social opportunities are at their all time high.

You sound like my classmates in high school just before we graduated, lamenting how those years were the best we would ever have. My college classmates did the same damn thing. Bunch of f--king garbage.

My friend, you have a choice, just as I did.

You can choose to believe that "the best time of your life" is a specific time. That it's going to come and go and life will never ever be that good again. You can also choose to arbitrarily decide that this period of time has already past.
You can choose to realize what a crock of shit the prior choice is.

High school = the best time? Really? Not old enough to drink legally. Usually still dependent on your family. Harder to date because you live at home. Often no car of your own. Zits. Hormones clouding your judgement and/or the judgement of those around you. Being around assholes who don't know who they are and mistreat themselves and others while going through the process of learning who they are..... which some of them never do.

And what about college = the best time? Really? You reach the age to legally drink but you have no income to really go out and do much. You might live on your own but your places is most likely going to be a shithole that you don't want to take people to.

Whereas, post-college you're more likely to be out on your own and started on a career. No zits. You can afford to go do things. Like actually go out or take vacations. Go on trips with friends. (Real trips.)

Like I even feel like if I had fucked a hot sorority girl back in my college days, it would have done wonders for me mentally to know that a girl from such an exclusive clique decided to want to get fucked by me.

Look, you can choose to focus on now, which is the only time you have......the only time you literally can do ANYthing. Or you can throw your time and energy towards the past, which along with the future, are times you literally have NO control over.

Your choice.

It has driven me mad, made me cheat on girls, and made me do so much crazy shit just because I feel this overwhelming feeling of wanting to make up for lost time. The whole wanting to make up for lost time belief has always been in my head.

Yeah. It's kind of like a mid-life crisis. Only early. And it all tracks back to choices you are making. You believe you deserve this complicated life you've created for yourself. And when you're ready for it to be over, it will simplify.

tindermaniax · 2015-11-09T09:59:15+00:00

hrm.. this feeling that you are experiencing is bitterness. I felt the same way too XD before nofap (although it is not a magic pill). I'm actually 8 days in right now and have only begun realizing that sex isn't everything man (although it is probably the mood I am in at this moment). I have been preoccupied with other goals.

What I'm saying is, don't put sex on a pedestal. The fire disappears once you jizz anyways. Focus on yourself and master something that you can take to the fucking grave.

Back then I was always thinking, yo you know what? When I grow up I want to tell my grandkids that grampa was a player back in his hayday. But then I realized, I could talk to them for days about the "bitches I fucked" or I could show them a skill that I have been practicing for all my life (fingerstyle guitar in my case).

yea man, lifes too short to be hung up on the past. The present is way better anyways.

nystagmus17 · 2021-12-20T17:46:53+00:00

Could you find peace/solutions? I'm 24 year old girl, finishing medical school in June, still a virgin, never experienced anything and suicidal as fuck... Just can'take the pain from this anymore.... Can someone help? What happened to you OP since than?

Title	How do you mentally overcome a sexless youth which involves missing out on sex during your formative years and college?
Author	Amazongkong
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	November 9, 2015 6:36 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3s3sau/how_do_you_mentally_overcome_a_sexless_youth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-mentally-overcome-a-sexless-youth-which.1397318 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397318

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