Starting a LTR, finding myself constantly battling with the inner BP child.

A-Red-Six · 2014-05-25T19:40:43+00:00

First off, you've identified your problem and shown a great deal of self control with your emotions. Well done.

I was in a similar situation once. I knew that the person who cared less had all the power in the relationship. I KNEW that I needed to be able to walk away from this woman without a second thought. I absolutely, positively, without a doubt, knew what I needed to do but I was having a hard time actually doing it.

It's difficult to walk away from somebody with a mile long list of positive attributes.

I basically had to fool myself into liking her less. I began to focus on her flaws, rather than what made her great. Eventually, I got to the point of almost nexting a perfectly good LTR over complete bullshit. Ironically, that's when the tables turned. She became ultra submissive, sex became better than it already was and increased in frequency, shit testing became less intense, and I genuinely felt in-control of the relationship.

By no means am I saying that what I did was the "right thing" to do, but I think you need to figure out what works for you. You know where you need to be, mentally. Now it's just a matter of how to get yourself there.

greatest_mistake · 2014-05-25T20:50:30+00:00

I'll ask first why do you feel that she's the best you can do? Is it because you don't value yourself? I'm thinking that could be part of the reason. Do you have a job, good physique, eat healthy? Are you the very best you can be? If you're not are you actively trying to be? If you were, you might be thinking that you are the best that she can get.

Generally I think I'm the man because I am the best I can be. When I interact with women, I know this. If someone won't talk to me, it's their loss.

Become the best man you can be. I mean really look in the mirror and ask yourself how can I better. Then do it. Two things will happen. First, You will become the man and you will flip the script on your girl. She'll be afraid lose you. Second, because you're the man, you will not care because high value men have no problem attracting women. I speak from experience my friend. Good luck.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-05-25T23:53:29+00:00

Rollo Tomassi at therationalmale.com says, 'Always keep two in the kitty.'

Are you flirting with other women? Are you in great shape? Are you progressing on your financial/career goals? Do you run occasional soft Dread Game (absolutely essential for LTRs)? Do you demonstrate 'amused mastery'?

Flirting with women serves a dual purpose. It keeps your game skills sharp so that you won't be caught flat footed if the LTR somehow tanks quickly. This keeps you confident. When your LTR perceives this happening, she realizes that a) you're attractive to other women, meaning, since women are herd animals, that b) she made the correct mate choice, and also c) she needs to keep HER own game up because she always has competition, and every day your SMV gets a little better and hers a little worse.

greatest_mistake · 2014-05-25T20:52:15+00:00

Edit: might not be thinking she's the best you can get

Title	Starting a LTR, finding myself constantly battling with the inner BP child.
Author	H3lius
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	May 25, 2014 5:23 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26ggog/starting_a_ltr_finding_myself_constantly_battling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/starting-a-ltr-finding-myself-constantly-battling.139974 https://theredarchive.com/post/139974

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