This question is motivated by a specific situation I'm in (posted about here) but I'd like to hear about other people's experiences on this.

Now I understand that avoiding oneitis is one of the most important principles promoted on this sub. I could deal with never seeing this girl again and I've certainly gone ahead and opened up threads with multiple other girls. But for curiosity's sake I'm wondering if anyone here has had a girl go from seemingly resistant or at least lukewarm about hanging out, to flipping the tables where she's the one practically begging to hang out with you. It seems like for the vast majority of the girls I've taken out, I'm the one making things happen. How do I get more reciprocation? I understand the guy is supposed to lead in the beginning, but how do you lead without being needy?

For my specific situation, I'm not 100% sure what's going on in this girl's mind. Perhaps I'm not a backup option, perhaps I am. But it seems to me there is a gray area between the first date and a long term relationship that is almost never discussed on this sub, and I'd like to know what exactly is supposed to happen during that time period.