Let’s call her Delta, she is short, Asian, pretty cute, and has this mole on her left cheek. I would rate her 6.5/10. Not bad for a first hangout in quite some time.

I texted her if she was free two or three days before and she replied yes. I texted her again the day before just to confirm everything. I chose this day because school was ending early as it was the end of the quarter. Before I go on to the details, I would just like to list off the key things I learned on this “date” (by the way, I keep putting “date” in quotation marks because technically it was just a hangout in my opinion).

  • Dealing with friends
  • Figuring out logistics on the spot
  • Being dominant yet positive in a group situation
  • Making moves
  • So now for the details…

Delta was in my last class period, so as the bell rang, I packed up and walked over to her desk on the other side of the room. People were crowding to get out, so it was a while before we saw each other. We said hi and walked up to the front where I encountered the first of many obstacles. One of our friends, a bubbly, kind-of-annoying girl, came up to us and started talking about the test that we just took, and asked us how we felt about it. Delta and I both commented and what not, but this girl just kept on talking to the point where I got kind of irked. I remember in my mind thinking, Jesus, this wasn’t the way I had planned it to go. So after a while of the friend blabbering, I turn to Delta and tell her, “Hey, I have to turn these cheques in ((because I really did)) before we hang out.”

She replies, “Okay, I’ll follow.”

But then the friend, whom I thought would get the gist and say farewell, decided to tag along, saying, “Oh, I’ll go along too.”

Oh for fucks sake, I think, but just casually go along with it. So we’re walking to the classroom where I have to turn the cheques in for a debate trip next week, and the two girls are walking behind me just chatting away. There’s this point where there are stairs leading to the ground floor, and right next to that is the hallway to the classroom I need to go to. As I reach this point, I hear the damn friend behind me say, “Oh bye, ericblobb!” as if she’s leaving with Delta and assuming I’m going my own way.

I quickly turn around to tell the friend what’s actually going on when Delta just tells her, “Oh no, I’m following him.”

The friend’s just like, “Oh, okay,” and is kind of surprised but follows too.

I reach the classroom, give the cheques to the debate captain, and we all walk down the stairs. Just as we reach the front doors of the school, the friend shoves another fucking obstacle down my throat.

She says something like, “I’m going down to the cafeteria for open lunch. Let’s go.” What the flying fuck.

At this point, I’m almost done. But I just don’t have the heart to tell the friend, “Hey, Delta and I made plans to hang out. Sorry, but we can’t go with you to open lunch.” It just seemed so mean in the moment and I thought it would be better to go casually along with it. Now that I look back, being assertive in that moment of my original plans would’ve really helped things along the way.

So I just go, “Okay,” and we all walk towards the cafeteria. I think, I really shouldn’t spend too much time in here, when I see my good friend, Dom, in the cafe. Awesome, I instantly think of a plan where I hang out with Dom, wait for the girls to finish eating and whatever, and continue on the original plan. So I go up to Dom and ask him how long he’s going to stay. To my disappointment, he says he has to leave as soon as he finished his pizza. Fuck. So at this point, I tell Delta to just go along and we find some empty seats not too far away.

I take out some food that my mum packed me and start eating, when I get a call. It’s one of my partners for this group project we’re doing. Apparently, I wasn’t paying enough attention to the group chat last night, and thought we could work on everything this weekend. Well, they made plans to work on stuff today, and expected me to be there when I explicitly told them that I already made plans. I tell them that I can’t today and that we should work on it this weekend. It’s pretty loud in the cafeteria, so I tell Delta that I’ll be back soon, and go outside where it’s quiet.

I fix things up on the spot, saying that they should do as much as they can today, and that I would work on my part plus more tonight. They say okay, and I hang up, when boatloads of people start filing out of the cafeteria. Apparently, open lunch just ended. So I just wait outside the door for Delta to come out when I see her, and guess what, another fucking friend, walking beside her. The first friend apparently left, but now there’s this other friend, who I know as well. Let’s call him Jay, and well, he’s female to male trans. He’s actually pretty cool, but at that point, I really didn’t need another fucking obstacle.

So they come out, and I say hi to Jay, and ask him what he plans to do today. We all walk outside the school, finally, and Jay says, “Well, I don’t have any plans, so I guess I’ll just tag along with you guys.”

Ho-ly-FucK.

I go, “Wait what?”

He replies, “I’m just gonna tag along if it’s alright. I’ll just call my dad to pick me up when I’m ready.”

Once again, my plans were ruined. I swear, it felt as if the whole Universe was trying to fuck everything up.

And once again, I just didn’t have the heart to tell the friend to fuck off, since it would be pretty unnecessary, and there was no real harm for him to tag along. Thing is, I wanted to just chill and watch a movie with Delta at my house, alone, and maybe if I felt she was cool, escalate. I couldn’t do that with someone else tagging along.

So I think quick. My friend group had planned to go the shopping center nearby after school today, but since I made plans with Delta, I told them I couldn’t make it. Well, I definitely didn’t want to bring Jay along for a movie session with Delta, and so decided to just take them to the shopping center, Greenbriar, where my friends were. Thing is, my wallet was at home, so I told them to follow me to my house so I could collect my wallet and bounce back out and walk to Greenbriar. We do that without any trouble at all, and soon we’re walking towards Greenbriar and I’m sometimes joking around with Delta, building rapport, and having fun, and sometimes I’m in my head, thinking of all the things that went wrong, the best way to act, and realizing I’m in my head and focusing on my breathing to get present.

I begin to understand a lot more what all the instructors were saying about chaos, and things never going as planned, and how you have to be a decisive motherfucker. Amazing what field experience can bring.

We eventually reach Greenbriar, and by texting my friend group, figure out that they’re currently in Fanfare, a popular eatery for students. We arrive at Fanfare, order our food, and I find my friends. Ben and Mason (a girl), who are dating, and Justin, whose girlfriend goes to another school. Ben and Justin are sitting on one side while Mason sits on the other. I make the quick decision to sit Delta and Jay on the side of Mason as there are two spots open next to her, and I sit on the other side next to Justin. I do this so Delta and Mason, who don’t know my friends very well, can at least talk to each other instead of sitting there awkwardly if I split them up. Pretty proud of this quick thinking.

Anyway, we start talking about random stuff as the food arrives. Luckily, Ben is a natural extrovert, and keeps the energy of the group alive. I chime in here and there with some funny stories and questions for Delta and Jay to include them in the group. We fuck around, laugh, and have a pretty good time. Although, as expected, Delta and Jay are still kind of awkward and mostly talk between themselves.

At this point, I start thinking of where to go next. Greenbriar doesn’t have many shops other than food joints, so there’s not much to do. I don’t want to take everyone to my house because that would just be too much chaos, and my parents don’t really approve of other people in the house when they’re not home.

As I’m thinking, I hear Delta talking to Jay about going to her place to chill. She then asks me if I want to come along and I say, “Alright.”

We all finish eating, and go outside. Now, I just made plans with Delta and Jay, but my other friends have no clue since they were talking amongst themselves when we made the plans. So now I’m in my head thinking about the smoothest way to break it out to them that we’re going to split up. God, looking back, I should’ve just been like, “Hey, Delta and Jay and I are gonna chill at Delta’s house. See you guys next week, it was fun hanging out.” But no, I was too caught up on how to be “cool,” or “smooth.” So we’re walking, and after a while, my friends start asking, “Wait, where are we going?” They were just following me this whole time which I find kind of funny. I just stand still like a dumbass and say, “Man, there’s not much to do here.” We all stand in a circle for a while, just talking and messing around, when for some reason, Delta and Jay and I just start walking away, saying goodbye. My friends are like, “Wait, we’re splitting up? Oh, okay, bye.” And we split up, just like that.

Now the three of us are walking to Delta’s house which is about 15 minutes away, not too far. As we’re walking, I start thinking about what the hell I’m going to do once we get to her house. You see, there’s another obstacle. Delta has a younger brother in 7th grade. Coupled with Jay tagging along, no way anything sexual’s gonna happen.

So now I’m debating whether or not to just bail and go home. I mean, nothing can really happen can it? But Delta then starts calling her brother to tell her she’s bringing “two buddies home,” and to make sure he’s dressed. Right then, even though I could still turn back, something triggers inside me to keep on going.

The walk to her house doesn’t take too long, and we’re soon inside. She has this medium sized living room where there’s a TV and two super fluffy couches. One’s directly across from it and small, and the other is long and against the wall on the TV’s right side. Jay immediately lies down on the smaller couch, and Delta and her little brother and I sit on the longer couch. We talk and joke around for a while, watching YouTube videos and whatnot, and like before, I’m periodically going inside my head thinking of what the fuck to do. I decide to just relax and have fun since it can’t really go anywhere anymore.

Jay soon leaves, which I guess makes the situation better, but her little brother’s still here. And the thing is, he won’t leave us alone. Seriously, her house has two floors, her brother’s in 7th grade, you would think he would have better things to do then hanging around us. But no, he literally curls around Delta’s leg like a five year old as she is lying down next to me on the couch. He’s as tall as a five year old too, but he’s in 7th grade. Apparently, shortness is in the family. To make things playful, I take the blanket Delta’s lying under and use it as a pillow for myself. Delta’s like, “Hey, give it back,” and tries to tug the blanket out but fails. We have some playful banter, but she eventually just moves to the other couch where there’s an extra blanket. I say, “Wow, how could you leave me like that,” in a joking tone.

She laughs and, smiling, says, “Sorry.”

I get up and walk over to the other couch and sit myself next to her where we proceed to just talk about random stuff again. Her brother’s still on the other couch, making comments from time to time, but mostly just watching us.

Now this is the point where, looking back, I probably was the most creepy. I don’t know if I emanated this energy or not, but I probably did. You see, I wanted to physically escalate by grabbing her hand, but every time I thought of it, something in my brain just blocked me, afraid of rejection or whatever. I realize now that because I thought of it like that, “wanting to physically escalate,” I was putting way too much pressure on myself, and on her. Physical escalation shouldn’t be a list of boxes to tick off, instead it should be smooth and “just happen,” as Todd would say. In fact, so should everything else. I shouldn’t have thought while walking to Greenbriar, “Oh, what am I going to do next? What should I do next?” I should’ve just stayed in the present moment and only when necessary, think about a logical plan of action, but get straight back into the flow of things as soon as possible.

Eventually, I take her hand and joke about how small it is, and how “creepy” her fingers look and whatnot. I don’t hold it though, and after a couple minutes, just let it go. Probably because I was self-conscious about the brother and also probably because I was too much of a pussy. As the clock hits 5:30ish, I decide to leave as I have other plans at 6. Nothing much happens, we just wave, say goodbye, and I leave.

All in all, I say it was a decent “date.” I learned a shit ton of stuff even though nothing much happened on a results level which I’m happy about, and I made my fair share of pussy mistakes. Some things I could improve in are:

  • Being more assertive when friends come in and “ruin” plans
  • Being more present and process-oriented
  • Being more decisive and saying what’s on my mind as soon as it comes up in my mind
  • Going for what I want

This experience has opened me up to the chaos of game and life. Actually, instead of turning me off, I’m becoming more attracted to this “chaos.” It’s quite fun having to make quick decisions, and wondering what else is going to come up. Definitely going to pursue more opportunities like this in the future, and of course, write more field reports too.

TL;DR: Went on first “date” in a while, lots of shit came up that I had to deal with but was pretty fun, nothing much happened sexually but still learnt a shit ton. Excited for future opportunities.