I've been reading this site for a while. I've read a couple books that have been recommended here. I understand the theory behind attraction pretty well I think. I try to apply some of the concepts (outcome independence, focusing on making a connection and not just on hook ups) but I'm running into a few problems.

First of all, I feel like I'm not making any progress. I feel like I'm going into a loop of trying too hard to get with girls, realizing that won't work, and then taking a step back and just focusing on talking to people and that kind of thing. The problem is that I'll be in that more outcome independetn state for a few days then think to myself "what if girls think I just want to be friends? how am I going to get girls like this!" and then I go back into the desperate, needy mindset, and it loops forever.

I really want to shed this needy mindset of looking to results (hookups, dates, signs of affection from girls) which I think is making me desperate, needy, and think to much when it comes to interactions.

How do I stop focusing on this so much? I haven't had much sexual experience and I'm in my first year of college if it helps add context. I will admit, I feel like I'm trying to compensate for not doing anything in high school by doing stuff in college.

Also I would appreciate a pm if you've been in a similar situation so I could perhaps ask some questions.

Please help, this is really frustrating.