How do I get my confidence back?

listen108 · 2016-05-18T06:22:08+00:00

Yeah man you're in a slump. It's to be expected. these things go in cycles.

The breakup is a big deal. Most people do that "get back out there" thing and try to just blow it off, but it will still linger internally.

The bottom line is it's going to take time. There's no quick fix when it comes to emotional healing. So be gentle with yourself.

Here's the hard truth: you can't win em all. There is nothing you can do to make sure every girl will like you.

But there's another side. Why do you think she broke up with you? really think about it and try to be honest, and you might begin to realize that she maybe wasn't as perfect as you thought. I'm betting you two weren't such a great match after all.

The common denominator in relationships is values. You two obviously had some conflicting values, or else she wouldn't have broken it off. It's hard to see it now, but eventually you will look back and see how once you two broke up, you started growing in different directions, becoming different people. It may take years to get this perspective, but I can promise you it will happen. The sooner you realize that ultimately you two were holding each other back, the better. Again, this may take a while.

Breakups really knock us down because we start to pull up every buried insecurity to question if that's why we were dumped. You want to know the secret to confidence? It's self-acceptance. It's not accepting all your good qualities, it's accepting your ugly ones. So take a bit of time to look at what you don't like about yourself, and bring in as much self compassion and self-acceptance as you can muster. Practice regularly, it's like a muscle.

And just give yourself some time and space to not need sexual validation. Like put aside some time for self validation. Do some things for yourself, like you would if you love and cared about yourself. Take up a new hobby or exercise or whatever... just give yourself some time to explore your self and the world in a way that isn't in relation to a sexual relationship.

Little by little the confidence will come back. The dark cloud of sorrow will life and you'll start smiling more and girls will start smiling at you more.

This breakup is an opportunity to confront and explore yourself, and in the end you'll come out more confident, so long as you keep yourself in check and start building your life back up. But don't rush it. Honor your feelings. If you're still crushed, the girl you date are going to feel something is off. Have respect for them and respect for yourself and take some time to grieve for the loss and process the whole experience. Take care of yourself man.

bioticman · 2016-05-19T01:55:22+00:00

Sorry about hard times. One thing that helped...instead of laying in bed with regret, force yourself to go out and talk to people. Become social by default. Talk to guys and girls, attractive and unattractive. Treat everyone the same and be charismatic. That way when you find someone you like, it's more subtle.

It's ok to be in a slump. Step back and say to yourself hey I'm down, but it's alright. Allow yourself to process things when thoughts come up. Don't suppress as it will lead to problems.

Good luck

2016-05-18T07:17:22+00:00

Start walking around & going places in boxers, a wife beater, socks and sandals. You get used to having to not care what people think REAL quick

Title	How do I get my confidence back?
Author	greenphilly420
Upvotes	11
Comments	5
Date	May 18, 2016 4:07 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4juw45/how_do_i_get_my_confidence_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-my-confidence-back.1406927 https://theredarchive.com/post/1406927

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