I've been reading Models

In the first chapter it says "When people say vague things like, "I like the way he carries himself," or "you just need to believe in yourself," or "he just has 'it', whatever 'it' is," they are referring to a man's lack of neediness. It exudes from him in everything he does. Paradoxically, a man's lack of need for attention and admiration is itself a magnet for attention and admiration. A man's comfort and acceptance of the possibility that some people will not like him makes people like him even more. A man's respect for differing opinions makes those around him want to agree with him more."

I'm struggling with the bolded part, " a man's lack of need for attention and admiration is itself a magnet for attention and admiration."

I'm doing things for me, and I'm succeeding at my work at 19 years old there's a 30 year old they're looking at moving to a new position and me filling in her job. I'm also trying to grow my social skills and social influence. I believe I'm doing that, but I'm worried I'm doing it for the validation from others and not for myself. Is it just the fact that I'm doing well socially that I think that, because I want to say if I didn't have the friend network I do have I'd still pursue these skills.

I'm basically trying to figure out if I'm doing it for me or for others, I don't think I'm doing it for others.