So, for some quick background 4 years ago is when I had my last girlfriend and any contact with a woman intimately. She was fucking hot like HB10 she was actually voted most attractive in our highschool class, eventually she broke up with me because of jealously issues I had, my lack of motivation and crimpling anxiety that kept me away from things as simple as driving. Ever since I've had oneitis bad and have tried to rekindle things with her time and time again because in my head there was no one better than her and I also just became so riddled with anxiety over my weight (I'm 5'7 125lbs soaking wet and was 103 in high school). I had read stuff on here to help, but it was all canned lines and shit that never worked out and I would always try to look up more for the perfect line to do in a very specific situation, it's like I had no idea where to begin with women. To cut to the chase, year and a half ago I took up meditation and tried to do at least 10 minutes a day and read up on the philosophy of it and realized all my anxiety was based off things in the past (people making fun of me in highschool for my weight) and the future (the possibility of never having a girlfriend again, which became a self-fulfilling prophecy). I purposely put my self in situations where I knew I would have anxiety and knew would challenge me so I could become hardened to any social interaction, I even got a serving job. I read Models by Mark Manson and The Book of Pook and it helped me out immensely actually in the process of rereading Models. It really helped my inner game and showed me that you can only fake things for so long and how fucking lame it is to do or not to something based on what others will think rather than what you think. I was at a club last night and just sat down next to a girl my friend was trying to game earlier started talking about her job and what she's passionate about, our faces were super close together and I said "you're really fucking sexy" to her and rubbed my hand across her leg and the key was I didn't do it because it was in a master plan or a canned line, I did it 'cause I wanted to. I then looked at her dead in her fucking eyes and said "I really wanna makeout with you" and then just started making out with her hard outside the dancefloor and started fingering her while she gave me and hj and I went below the bra, this lasted for 10 minutes and we didn't have sex 'cause I don't think I built enough comfort and was maybe a little to insistent that we fuck, but honestly after 4 years of not having anything I'll fucking take it. So, to all the dudes out there who don't think your shit and don't deserve a girl, stop thinking like that, you deserve whatever you want as long as you are good to people. If you feel shitty about yourself no girl will fill that void, go back to school, start working out whatever you have to do to start liking yourself, 'cause I guarantee if you're seeking out the info on here as a beginner you probably don't like yourself too much even if you think you do and if you don't think you're awesome and worthy of a 10 how do you expect a 10 to think your worthy of her, faking it is the only thing you can do when you're starting but nothing wins someone over like actual confidence. I still have a very long way to go so I don't want to sound preachy, but I'm so stoked that I'm starting to figure this stuff out, thanks for reading.