Last night I was meeting up with a few old friends for some drinks and karaoke at my favorite bar. There are 3 women in this story: "Married" is a great friend of mine, very hot, sexy personality, but also very married. There was one night several years ago in which something almost happened between us because I was so thirsty I was willing to put aside my morals and her marriage was going through a super rocky period, but thankfully we caught ourselves in time and both our lives have changed a lot since that time. Since then we've just been party buddies, and good ones at that. "Curious" is an attractive girl I haven't seen in awhile, and "Cousin" is her hot cousin, who I hadn't met previously.

Things are going really well for the first hour or so. I've got Curious and Cousin sitting on my left and right, they're both laughing at my jokes, touching me, I've got my arms around both of them for a bit, they're leaning in close while I'm telling a story, etc.; Married is talking with a new buddy of mine this whole time.

The topic turns to online dating, specifically how many guys will just send dick pics and very sexual messages out of the blue. Married says, "It's because guys are sleazeballs, and they just do shit like that. It's okay, even my husband is kind of a sleazeball, but he's mine. Hell, even Dr_Wily_MD is kind of a sleazeball." I said, "I'm a sleazeball, huh? Okay, I'll bite. We've known each other half our lives, and we're still friends--what have I ever done to earn the title?" She responds with, "Dr_Wily_MD, come on. If I were to say 'Let's go, I want you to fuck me,' you're telling me you wouldn't?"

This is where I failed. I thought about it too long, was obviously taken aback, and my eventual answer was something like "It'd be tough to resist, but I'd ultimately have to decline on ethical grounds," to which she just laughed it off and was like, "I'm just messing with you."

After this, it was over. I had to go up and sing, and when I came back, both Curious and Cousin had their heads buried in their phones, their body language totally shifted, and neither one was recoverable at all by the end of the night. And the bar was pretty quiet, so there were no other girls there who weren't obviously with their husbands/boyfriends, so I went home empty-handed, except for my sad, lonely dick.

But I learned what I did wrong, and I hassled Married about c-blocking me. Still a fun night--no closes, but learned a few lessons.

THE LESSON Know yourself and be assertive about your beliefs. I think my mistake here was not necessarily in entertaining the idea of sex with a married woman (before ultimately saying no), but it was thinking about it too long. I failed the shit test not because of the answer, but because I was so taken aback by the question and thought too long about what I "should" say rather than what I "wanted" to say. Be unapologetically true to yourself, know your morals and personal policies to the point at which you don't have to think about them. Thinking too much shows you're trying too hard, and that's not what works.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Similar stories? Also, why the fuck is my married friend giving me shit tests and c-blocking me in front of other girls?