I can talk to people professionally, but not outside of work. What gives?

lamchopxl71 · 2016-11-03T22:35:37+00:00

Seems like the first problem is you're going out with your "boy" who's all talk and no game. What do you guys do just sit at bar and make excuses to not talk to girls? I find that going out with friends is counter productive if I want to practice my game. Try going out alone. The freedom you will experience is almost an epiphany.

You're saying you can talk to people in a business setting. Is it on the phone or in person? is it a business discussion or over the counter service related talk? There are some big differences.

The wonderful that I discovered is that these two types of conversations: business and fun, have the same formula for success. If you apply them properly you will succeed at both effortlessly. For me, a good conversation is developing a connection and building rapport while gaining necessary information for my use.

For both business and casual settings, my conversations start with building rapport and setting the other person at ease. The perspective of my conversation is never about me and always about the other person. I ask open ended questions that get them talking while I gain information for which I will use for "thread starters" These are little info that are revealed from the other person's answer that I can use to start another topic.

Example: What do you like to do on the weekend? "Oh I love to go hiking in the Appalachian with my best friend and my dog" From that answer, I've gained "hiking" "Appalachian" "best friend" and "dog" as my thread starters. I can go back to any of these to start another topic whenever the conversation dies down. This happens so organically that I can get a conversation going for hours with the other person doing most of the talking. The crazy thing? All you go is sit back and listen and they grow to like you from talking about themselves.

When it comes to approach, I see alot of tips and tricks on here on how to do it. I personally don't believe in any lines or canned stuff. I like to improvise organic openers. This actually challenges me and in turns I have a lot of fun just coming up with new ways to approach women. This works out really well because some of them are completely taken up by how original and different my approaches are.

The approach is not a chore or a means to an end. It's something that's fun in itself. Slowdown, take many many deep breaths and allow yourself to have fun with opening. Once you get yourself in the mind set that the approach is the fun activity in itself, the conversation that follows is now just an awesome bonus. Sometime, I find myself ending conversations early so I can keep approaching. I can't talk to one girl all night you kidding me?

Here are some examples of approaches I came up with that was extra fun to do:

Hey listen. My friends bet me I can't talk to the hottest girl at the bar. There's $50 in the pot. Let's pretend to talk and we'll split the money. This is extra fun for both of us if the girl is into it because you get to do some play acting. This always create hilarious moments.
When i'm sitting at a bar and I see a girl all the way across that's too far. I'll ask the bar tender for a pen and a piece of napkin. I draw a tick tack toe game with a note "You look bored, me too. Let's play a game". Ask the bartender to bring the note back and forth. Tip amazingly ofcourse.
If you're at a bar. Go stand right next to any girl ordering drinks. "Hey, wanna play a game? If you get the bar tender's attention first, i'll buy your drink and vice versa?" Its extra fun if the girl is down for it. This has never failed me.
"Hey, can I guess something about you and you tell me if I'm right or not? Me and my friends are playing a game" Then proceed to start guessing. You can do cold readings if you want but I like to guess as terrible as possible.

Many many more. Just be creative and have fun with it!

joniii123 · 2016-11-03T22:12:56+00:00

Something that helps me get into conversation with people is finding something they like to talk about (preferably something that you're also interested in) and then ask them stuff about it. For example: I found out a girl I was talking to saw a horror movie she liked. Then I asked her what the plot was from which made her tell me everything in detail.

From then on by exploring the other person's topic you can get into a good conversation. I think the key is that you become genuinely interested in them.

This works for any kind of situation when you want to talk to somebody. But like everything it takes some practice, however soon it will feel natural:).

joniii123 · 2016-11-04T07:40:04+00:00

Anywhere really. For example break room at work, at a friend's party at home, while waiting in line... Not when it's too loud like on a dance floor.

No problem dude;)

Title	I can talk to people professionally, but not outside of work. What gives?
Author	Whiteco69
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	November 3, 2016 8:34 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5az8f4/i_can_talk_to_people_professionally_but_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-can-talk-to-people-professionally-but-not.1415003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415003

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