How to Get Over Approach Anxiety (From Someone Who's Been There)

Noosterdam · 2016-11-17T23:04:10+00:00

Solid article. The techniques mentioned must be sort of universal as they are exactly the same way I overcame approach anxiety:

don't think even one single thought (this circumvents every hesitation process; if you accidentally think a thought on your way to a girl, abort (if there are enough targets; if targets are rare just fill your head with something else, like play a puzzle game on your phone until you close the distance))
use alcohol (not necessarily on the day, just drink substantial amounts 3x per week to keep from getting into rigid overthinking mode; use on the day at first though, as it is good to start in easy mode (drink enough to have an effect but at least be plausibly deniable, i.e., not sloppy-drunk))
use momentum (on different timescales: hours, days, weeks, months - the greater concentration of practice over each of those timescales, the better you will be; in terms of what to do when you're already in the field, this just means "get warmed up and don't let the momentum fall by wasting time")

A few other things I do:

build up to it: start by just holding eye contact, then graduate to smile if she reciprocates EC, then if she reciprocates smile graduate to "hi!" or a high-five or sensual EC (imagine making out with her lustfully). You can do a bunch of these throwaway half-approaches until you're ready to get into a conversation (though some girls may open you sometimes if you do a lot of these). You can even do this all day and do no approaches at all, and build this up over the course of a few weeks if you need to. It's not a race. Another warmup progression in a crowded area is to walk closer and closer to people, to the point where you start to brush them or slightly bump into some of them as they walk by (in a plausibly innocent way; not just girls, everyone/anyone). For some reason this removes a lot of approach anxiety as well.
puzzle games are a good content-free way to avoid building up social anxiety thoughts while you still don't feel warmed up but need a bit of filler before you arrive at a target-rich location (checking reddit usually isn't, because it can get you into the dreaded "analysis mode" or distract you into doing something else instead of picking up)
for generalized anxiety when out, if you note the location of where the anxiety is, try to brush it away from there, metaphorically, with your hand as if it were a dark cloud in your belly/chest/arms/wherever. Somehow that seems to work for me.
socialize with friends/etc. first (as the article mentioned, talking with all sorts of people is another great way)
dance first, or other physical creative thing (all these things are additive with the other techniques, so feel free to do them all to make it into very easy mode the first few times out)
bears repeating: alcohol! The first time out after a while, "drink until they return eye contact" is my rule (where I live, drinking in public is allowed, so this is cheap and practical).

Title	How to Get Over Approach Anxiety (From Someone Who's Been There)
Author	JoeGaga
Upvotes	3
Comments	2
Date	November 17, 2016 10:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5diopg/how_to_get_over_approach_anxiety_from_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-over-approach-anxiety-from-someone-whos.1415724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415724

Comments