Throwaway of course. I really would love to hear some perspective and genuine critique of my thought process and situation. I know the read is a bit long - but i feel like i have to tell the entire picture to get good advice. Also English is not my native language so please judge my writing level accordingly.

I'm 29 years old. I live in a big city. My looks will be around the 75% percentile. I was a gifted kid and have a top 2% SAT Score, Was always kinda nerdy, playing computer games and reading philosophy books as a teenager . Most of my life i was a true Beta, at the age of 22 I took a seduction course but it helped me only a bit, I'm still naturally speak with women in the wrong way: Like perfectly rational people - like i would expect people to talk to me. I also have a serious problem with forcing my self doing stuff that I don't like, sadly i would say my self control is mediocre in terms of achieving goals. Learning pick up didn't make me like it - it felt fake and stupid when doing it. Despite the fact it was effective.

Still, I got into self improvement. I play guitar, got nice clothes and piercing. I don't work out regularly but I'm slim and got a decent body. I'm very successful at my career, Just got a job offer from the best company in the world in my field - so i also make pretty good money. I also have a pretty good social circle and a large amount of friends.

While being a complete failure with women till around the age of 24 I finally became old enough that my social status,decent looks, and intellectual abilities will out weight my lack of game skills and unattractive conversation style. I got my first gf, we were together for 6 months till the break up.

Since then i dated a lot of girls, had sex only with 3 more (4 total till now, not considering paid sex - which i honestly prefer not to). And right now i'm in LTR for a year with a girl i started with as fuck mates (She hit on me and wanted LTR from the start. Took me a lot of time agree)

Why did i do that you ask? Well, let me tell you a bit about her. She's 25, i would say 45% percentile in terms of looks (a bit below average). Her SMV is lower than mine significantly, I'm pretty much better than her in every field in life. But honestly it makes her genuinely love and adore me, Wer'e been fucking for 2 years and she still compliments and adores me all the time. She used to be a nerdy fat girl, until she decided to get slim around the age of 19~, It didn't make her a raging feminist - but a kind person who understands the cruelty of the sexual market.

We have a really good relationship, we have similar taste in activities (We play vidiya together and watch shows), She's smart and it's fun to talk with her - I told her i'm really against marriage and she's ok with it. We hardly fight and really enjoy spending time together. She's financially independent and earn well too (20% lower than me) so she doesn't expect me to pay for her or buy her stuff - But i'm still very dominant in our relationship - I make all the decisions and serve my role as a man. Of course it's not all perfect, but it's a genuinely a healthy relationship. We're both not really conventional people and it works well for us.

So what's the problem right? Well, this is what i'm thinking about * My social status and SMV are peaking right now. I'm really at the most attractive point of my life, I wasn't in the market for a long time but i have a strong feeling I will be able to be much more successful than i used to be. I think i can get laid, a lot. Till now i had sex with only 4 girls, It doesn't feel like enough I'm afraid i'll wake up in my forties cursing my younger self for not ceasing his opportunity. On the other hand I was never really good or motivated when being in the singles market, So maybe i'm just delusional and things will be hard for me as they used to be. * I really like her, I'm feel that if we'll stay together i'm going to waste her best years (Before she hits the wall) and not gonna marry her, Despite the fact she loves me maybe it will be better for her to find someone else that will be maybe less attractive/successful but someone who will be willing to get married and get kids. Despite the fact i told her i'm not interested in kids and marriage i suspect she might be naive (She's not a typical girl in this sense) and be blinded by her love to me, not fully understanding the dire consequences of the hitting the wall.

So basically i'm afraid of being in an LTR when i have a peak SMV (which will start declining now) and low track record, As this period in my life might be the best chance to improve it.

And I also feel bad with the fact that I'm maybe causing harm to my girlfriend by staying together (As I know i'll probably never marry her). And i really wish her well because she's one of the rare good women in our world.

On the other hand we're really having fun together, Most of the women i know and meet i honestly don't like and don't really want to hang with (Except for sex). I except and agree with what TRP says about women in general. I know it's gonna be really hard for me to find a girl that fits me like her, i would dare to say she's special.

What do you guys think?