Every straight man on earth knows how nerve-wracking it can be to be on a date, want to kiss the woman, but not have a clue if it’ll go down well. No one wants to be the socially uncalibrated retard or slimy creep who makes women do things they don’t want to. However, the simple fact is that if we don’t make the first moves, they’re sure as hell not going to, so, unless we’re content sleeping in empty beds until the third coming of Jesus, we need to be proactive.

But that still begs the question of how we can know that the women we’re dating want us to kiss them.
Obviously, it’s possible to ask, but if we’re going to keep it a buck, asking a girl if you can kiss her isn’t going to moisten her nether regions in your direction—quite the opposite. A man being so unsure of himself to the point of asking permission to kiss is deeply unerotic and likely to make her not want to do it even if she previously did.

They want us to know what they’re feeling and act accordingly, which, I admit, is tough, but it is what it is.
So, with that in mind, how exactly can you tell?

There are only three things I look out for. Here goes.

You ready?!
Here come the pain!

1: Is there a fun and sensual vibe?
Something most men don’t realise is that sex (of which kissing is a small part) doesn’t begin with penetration but the moment two people lay eyes on each other. From the moment you guys turned up to that date you were having sex, and I’m not joking.

You see, on the scale of eroticism, kissing is probably like a 4 or 5 out of 10, not as severe as penetration, but on the scale nonetheless.
However, something men don’t realise is that while our sexualities are like binary on-and-off light switches which have us ready to go at the drop of a hat, women’s are more like dimmer switches that slowly turn from ice cold to nuclear inferno.

If there isn’t a sexual/flirtatious vibe in the air, reaching in for a kiss is like jumping from 0-5 and very jarring for a woman. It’s like seeing a random sex scene in a Disney cartoon or having the cast of a brutal horror film randomly break out into a cheesy choreographed musical number.
Completely off putting.

There must be a flirtatious vibe before you go in for that kiss, but how will you know if there is one? Well, is she leaning towards you? Gazing into your eyes and smiling softly? Do frequent bursts of laughter punctuate your conversation? Is she bantering with you? Giggling? Does she seem relaxed? Does the vibe feel like that of a man and woman who are out on a hot date or just two asexual friends who met for coffee? Does the energy of your interaction carry the tinge of sexual energy?

If so, this is all a great sign that she’s ready to be kissed.

2: Is she comfortable with being touched?
If a woman’s not comfortable with you touching her, then abandon all hope of trying to slide your tongue in her mouth because you’ll be wasting your time. But on the flip side, if she loves being touched, there’s a close to zero percent chance of her not wanting to kiss you. Physical contact is an often necessary rung on the 0-10 sexual ladder, which wise men incorporate and impatient men skip to their detriment.

But then this begs the question of how you’ll know if she’s comfortable with being touched, and it’s elementary, my dear Watson because you just need to do something and see if she likes it. If she doesn’t, she’ll stiffen up and get uncomfortable, (and you’ll stop), and if she does, she’ll relax into it and maybe reciprocate.

So let’s say you wrap your arm around her, and she vibes with it, then she’ll probably scoot in closer and place a hand on your thigh. But then again, if she doesn’t, she’ll tense up and stare off into the distance. If she does that, then, like I said before, stop what you’re doing and don’t think about kissing her until she’s more comfortable with you.

3: Is she showing no signs of wanting to leave?
This is a major one which was given to me by Joe Elvin some years ago, but it goes like this:

The main indicator of a woman’s interest in you is her continued presence.

Have you guys been on this date for three hours plus with her showing absolutely no signs of wanting to leave?

Does she seem to have forgotten all about her phone or even the other people in the bar?
Is she focused entirely and utterly on your black ass?
If so, that’s a damn good sign that she’s ready to be kissed.

Here are some things you can do to make your kiss more likely to happen

Sit next to her

It’s a cultural norm for people to sit opposite each other on a date, but that’s terrible because it creates too much distance and makes the whole thing feel like an interview. What you want to do is sit next to each other so the vibe is intimate and conducive to building a sexual/flirtatious energy between you.

Celebrate female sexuality
Any time you slut shame another woman in front of the one you’re on a date with, you’re indirectly letting her know that you’ll judge her for her own sexual behaviours, which isn’t even slightly conducive to making her feel comfortable kissing you. There needs to be a fun, electric and accepting vibe, not one of pressure or judgement.

Have strong eye contact
They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and I agree. A considerable part of building this fun, playful and flirtatious vibe is having the ability to look your date in the eyes like a man without flinching. It’s in being comfortable enough in your own skin to have a sly and cheeky glint in your eyes as your eyes are locked on each other. Men who can hold strong eye contact are like catnip covered in gold dust. Those who can’t tend to go home alone with only Pornhub for company.

Avoid logical conversations like the plague
Logical conversations, I.e. those that depict an accurate version of reality, are like the absolute undisputed arch-nemesis of female attraction. You know, things like:

I work at Barclays Bank.
I’m on the fast track for a promotion.
I’m having a hernia operation next month.
Apparently, we’re going to have 2 centimetres of snow this weekend.
I find the investment opportunities at American Express to be superior to those at HSBC.

Talk like that will do nothing but bore your date to tears and make her want to be anywhere in the world but on that date with you.
She must be laughing, giggling, curious, shocked, aroused, challenged, wowed, intrigued, and more. Logical conversations like those you have with your female work colleagues will turn her off faster than you can say:

Let’s be friends.

Don’t kiss her ass
We’ve all been there. You’re on a date with some woman that you want to go well. In fact, you’re so desperate for her to like you that you start twisting and contorting your personality to fit whatever you think she wants you to be. You take on her political and social beliefs, share her musical and movie tastes, and find yourself acting outraged at the same things as her.

Like I said, we’ve all been there, and it’s very understandable. But here’s the truth: no woman wants a man to be a doormat, and when you act like that, this is precisely who you’re becoming. Also, she might like that you’re agreeing with everything she’s saying, but she’s not going to respect you for it, and that lack of respect isn’t going to make her want to tongue-wrestle you any time soon.

It might sound counterintuitive, but you’ll have a much better chance of kissing and sleeping with a woman by clearly disagreeing with her on specific topics than mindlessly following her lead like a lapdog.
A man who stands firm in his own opinions is seductive. A lapdog is anything but.

But there you have it, mein freund. That’s the end of this post. DM me if you’ve got any questions.
Excelsior!