I messed up right?

tombreck2 · 2014-10-12T19:19:36+00:00

This is how I text girls I meet from bars (Stricly logistics)

Me: This is tombreck2

Her: Hey how are you?

Me: When are you free next week to meet for a drink

Her: Tuesday or Wednesday after 6

Me: Wed at x at 8pm

Her: ok see you there

level_e11even · 2014-10-12T21:38:56+00:00

Just found out TRP a few weeks ago and most of the stuff here works just fine, even though some of the stuff is quite off the wall and doesn't apply to me.

You're not there yet. Keep reading.

To answer your question: texting a potential plate is used mostly for logistics. When, where and how. Always repeat those words after getting a number. If she tells you she'll bring someone, next.

It's your job to find out the logistics in advance, and have a nice plan to progress through the escalation; the closer it is to your house, the better (for same-day lays).

Anything beyond that is useless banter; body language, voice tonality, kino, and the effects of eye contact are all but lost in text. You might think you're saying something cool, but a chick at a bar who's not yet properly set in your frame may not react accordingly to something through text, as its being lost in translation. Leave actual text game after you've had the date.

My advice is to always keep on going for dates. You WILL get flakes; everyone does. They key is to have another date set up. We can't really tell you whether you were too direct or not.

My rule of thumb is: you can get away with anything under the right frame. There's a reason Patrice O'Neal fucked chicks by insulting them in their face, it's called frame control. If you didn't get a chance to establish your cool persona; your smooth but unbreakable frame, then it's reasonable to suggest trying to establish this directness over the lowest form of communication will not have the desired effects. Perhaps all it would have taken was for you to had made a move that night, or maybe have spent some more time by isolating her.

At the end of the day it shouldn't matter because you should have other dates coming up. That's the mentality that should be at play here.

Keep reading.

oldredder · 2014-10-13T01:38:47+00:00

your assumption is messed up: strangers meeting for coffee is perfectly fine for a non-threatening non-bar way to meet before getting down for a hookup. Your assertion it's only for friends is wrong so she probably figures you are no good at picking up because any other guy should know this.

Otherwise logistics-only is good purpose for text (as others commented) because of confirming in advance how things are in person beforehand (when you have the most influence to work with). Since the random bar talk-then-split-up thing happened that changes it up a bit. Shit happens at bars and that's one of the outcomes. You should have used any next meeting to actually use body language, any escalation, to your advantage.

She might text back. She probably has no clear memory of who you are which is why she's asking about the instagram account.

Also I think your 2 female friends very much tried to cockblock you. I'd look into that. Maybe change up future bar plans based on what you conclude.

stickfiguresk · 2014-10-13T05:03:19+00:00

Your texts sounded desperate for her and booze, but she gave you a lot of rope to hang yourself with, so... there may be a 50/50 chance of salvaging this by saying, "I wanted to make sure you weren't an alcohoalic. You passed. Still up for coffee?" Or something equally goofy, but still covers your ass.

The odds of her responding, her showing up, and her puting out seem lower now though.

Title	I messed up right?
Author	nfoel
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	October 12, 2014 7:14 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2j1ri8/i_messed_up_right/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-messed-up-right.142775 https://theredarchive.com/post/142775

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