It always feel a performance pressure and it makes me anxious.

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-01-26T15:23:33+00:00

So it sounds like you are very inwardly oriented (focused on yourself) as opposed to being outwardly oriented (during conversation). This causes you to be in your head and not be "natural". Instead, try focusing all of your attention on what the woman is saying and just having a normal conversation where you are playful, fun, and seductive.

You said that you remember what to do and what to avoid. You need to develop yourself into a high value man so you can naturally display value. If you have to remember what to do and what not to do form reading books, the real you will eventually seep out, so focus on increasing your social skills and value as a man so it becomes who you are. Body posture is very important. But, you shouldn't be faking it. You should work on developing good body posture with everyone you interact with to convey value.

If you have to remember what to avoid all of the time you'll eventually fumble and do something that is incongruent with who the women perceives you to be, and then she will begin testing you to ensure that you are the real deal. If you continuously fail, she's gone.

So, it essentially seems you are trying to mimic behavior as opposed to actually becoming a high value guy who is good with women. Work on the latter.

This article goes into detail about how to be seductive when listening and the importance of giving the women you're speaking to your presence: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-seduce-any-woman?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

This goes into more detail about how to be more natural during your approach: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-at-the-gym?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web

RoosterDatingdotcom · 2024-01-26T16:39:15+00:00

This is at the core of why all the PUA junk can be so damaging.

It's not that it's all wrong, it's just mostly fluff that can be very distracting.

Learning to just be in the moment and value experience changed everything for me. I used to act in a way I thought girls would like, instead of just being myself (which is what they want).

It's essential for them to trust you.

They can't do that when you're in your head and acting unnaturally and in ways you think you should.

I've wrote a small article on this in the past (if you're interested), but when it really comes down to is just continued exposure and experience. Try to focus on the moment with what you're doing and things she's saying. It helps to talk to her like a friend and not through any motive. Try to be able to enjoy time on dates whether or not it leads anywhere.

Exposure/Experience -> Comfort -> Confidence & Success

Title	It always feel a performance pressure and it makes me anxious.
Author	ChungusSamaWalksIn
Upvotes	12
Comments	2
Date	January 26, 2024 11:00 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1abfs1l/it_always_feel_a_performance_pressure_and_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/it-always-feel-a-performance-pressure-and-it-makes.1427973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427973

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