Should I tell the girl the truth

TheXXL · 2017-08-07T07:52:50+00:00

Mhmm... that's not so easy to answer. First you have to know what you want. Only then you are able to make a decision how to proceed. I can tell you from experience that if a girl is catching feelings, and this looks like she's catching them, it's either "breaking up" or see how it will blow up in your face, most likely via drama over and over again, until you don't want her anymore.

If you tell her about your other exploits, you risk her getting hurt, sure, but you also give her the possibility to decide for herself what she want's with you. It is always best to communicate your status in the beginning, by exchanging ideas how your live should look like, or just by pointing out what you expect from your life right now. Normally this is communicated by something like "i don't have so much time for anything else but my career, and i am happy with that" or straight out "i am not looking for a girlfriend". I am in a similar situation right now... a girl i like, she catched feelings for me, i don't feel the same, but i do like her. She was buying me stuff, i told her not to. I always communicated that i don't want a relationship, since i'm too busy with my life and happy the way it is. She knows that i meet other girls too, but this gives her bad mood and so there is drama every now and then. Best would be to cut her loose to spare her the pain, but when i told her that i want her not to feel hurt, she said i should not care about her feelings, she's an adult and can care for herself.

Well, don't let it come to this, it's so much better to end it before it get's too complicated because not both parties needs are met.

Conkersick · 2017-08-07T08:12:41+00:00

Ask yourself questions: -Why do i want to tell it? -How do i feel about keeping this a secret? Why do i feel that way? -How would i feel if she did the same and tells me/doesn't tell me? -etc

This kind of information can make or break your budding relationship. It's scary but as there is no definition for cheating, personal interpretations vary wildly.

Know that you dont't have to tell her. And that if you do tell her, the language you use to tell her is as important as the information.

The sentence: I have been thinking and need to tell you about .x. because if it happened to me i would feel .y. can be especially helpful.

Try to understand yourself and pay attention to her. Does she talk about evil ex-boyfriend whatshisface who cheated on her. Ask her what he did, get information for your internal dialogue.

It all depends on what you want, so figure that out. Cheers

Throwawayanthy · 2017-08-07T08:27:49+00:00

You are right,but we are not even in a official relationship .I will probably tell her the truths and say let's be friends .

Throwawayanthy · 2017-08-07T08:39:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lambdal7 · 2017-08-07T14:24:52+00:00

"I really like you but I'm not looking for a relationship right now." in a bit of a nicer way.

Title	Should I tell the girl the truth
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	August 7, 2017 7:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6s3zbs/should_i_tell_the_girl_the_truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-tell-the-girl-the-truth.1431647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1431647

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