How to deal with women changing their mind on going for dates?

2017-08-28T08:07:17+00:00

Ignore and drop the ones that flake on you. They'll say yes to your face but will 'cancel' any meet up for a multitude of reasons. Not worth it to delve into 'why' just move on to the next. You can offer another time but if they flake again then move on. It's very personal but you shouldn't take it personally when a woman flakes on you. I would quit using the 'are you sure?' game, it screams of insecurity. Arrange the date, keep talking with her but keep phone or text communication to a minimum. Wait till the date and game her all over again.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-28T10:20:49+00:00

__1__

First off, realize that some of your add-ons at the end of your interactions, are undercutting your goals. I'll elaborate.

I've asked women out and they have said yes face-to-face and we've made plans, sometimes I have jokingly said "are you sure?"

Asking if they are sure, is basically asking them to question whether they really want to hang out with you. You are actively inserting doubt. Trying to "joke" about it, doesn't change this. In fact, that makes the doubt probably more likely.

if we planned to play a sport or do something non-food related, like "are you sure ... I'll beat you" as a kind of competitive tease. So this is a mix of sports or food dates.

Making an assertion that you'll beat them, could come off as insecure.

__2__

Sometimes an hour later or earlier they change their mind and say they'd rather keep things going as they are, "im not ready at the moment".

This could indicate that something is definitely off when you're trying to set up the meet. Or it could mean that you're rushing the interaction. It's unclear what sort of connection you're establishing when you going for the meet-up.

But saying things like, "I'd rather keep things as they are," or "I'm not ready now," is definitely an excuse geared towards letting you down easy.

Is this my teasing not coming off properly, am I doing anything wrong here or is this a flake/genuine response?

The teasing is definitely not necessary. Off-hand, it comes off as if you're inserting doubt into the whole process. It's ironic: you're probably throwing it in there at least partly because you've been flaked on and part of you wants to reassure yourself that the latest girl won't do it too.

But you reaching out for that reassurance from them instead of finding it within yourself, is only showing them that you don't believe they should want to hang with you. So if they actually had wanted to hang, you are possibly convincing at least some of them that they are wrong to think so.

__3__

I feel really frustrated because of this and I know if I ask them why they changed their minds that would destroy everything.

Destroy? No, it wouldn't. You seem to be treating them as if you can salvage them though, and that's wrong, too.

Whatever happened, it was either not in the cards to begin with, OR you affected the outcome before they flaked. You haven't said anything about how you met them or anything leading up to you asking them out. Without those details, it's hard to say how this outcome came about.

Twobithatter · 2017-08-28T05:48:46+00:00

I mean if their canceling the date, they should at least have the respect to tell you why. Ask them why they changed their mind.

Title	How to deal with women changing their mind on going for dates?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	August 28, 2017 4:35 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6wh6s3/how_to_deal_with_women_changing_their_mind_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-deal-with-women-changing-their-mind-on.1432731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432731

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