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[–]ImJustSo 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol you sound adorable, but just chill, you're doing good. If you're one of the people that answer questions, then others are in awe of you. I went through college, I dressed sharp, I answered those questions, etc. I was in your shoes, but I did it all at an older age. I was way more calm, I had already dealt with people's shit before passed what you have. I knew which chicks were into me, hell...I knew which professors were into me. That's different than you, you think you've got Asperger's. Honestly, just sounds like you're smart.
So, smart guy...quit looking for a list of routines and start an experiment of your own. Test a hypothesis, man. See what your results are on your own. You don't need routines, you need research. Like seriously, go do research and think about your findings and develop a hypothesis and then test it (I did a ton).
Edit: To clarify, I tried to decide what kind of conversational practices would and wouldn't work and I tested methods of communication myself. With thousands of women online. thousands. And hundreds and hundreds in person.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]ImJustSo 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't need to think of something to say, you need to think of a goal and act in ways that meet your goal. (Confident)
I don't really know if you need to think of something to say, maybe you need to think of a goal and act in ways that meet your goal? (Not confident)
Dude, why the fuck are you thinking about what to say? Just think of a goal and act in ways that meet your goal. (Not sympathetic)
Hey man, it's cool, you don't have to worry about thinking about what to say, you get to just choose goals and then act in ways to meet your goal! (Sympathetic)
Okay, so I wanted to give you information, and the information doesn't change but how I said it changed. The way I said it changed based on my goal. Now, what I said may be interpreted in a different way, but whatever....I'd learn that my goal wasn't attained by my choice of tone, then try something else next time.
My goal with women is to share who I am with facts about me presented to them in the manner of a naughty 4 year old boy that just found a box of matches. I wanna have fun, I wanna flirt, so it happens. I practiced different things to see what worked and what didn't.
Edit: Thinking of something to say should be in the moment of conversation. Your goal should set the tone of the conversation though.
For example, if you were making it a goal to provoke someone into attacking you, then you'd be speaking aggressively and mockingly to set the tone to attain your goal. I bet you could literally recite poems in such a way that would provoke some dude into hitting you.
So, I think you could get to a point where flirting with a woman is an easy tone to set.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not trying to be rude, but do you have firsthand advice about a girl who has had it easy? I have talked to girls and they sounded nervous as crap. Afterwards, I heard them say that I was confident and stuff. They might have to work up the courage, too, and if they can do it, you can too.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ImJustSo 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ImJustSo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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