Contributing to the team

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-16T06:02:24+00:00

1: Probably not a date

I went on a date today that ended up being me hanging out with three girls.

So.... It probably wasn't really a date.

And no, you didn't need to say it was a date. You needed to invite her out one on one. If you did that and she invited others, then she didn't want it to be a date. Take that as a message.

2: You had the wrong idea about conversation

I wanted to talk and be more funny but it was hard to get a convo going with girl talk happening.

Listen to yourself. There was a conversation going on already. The girl talk. It wasn't necessary to be "funny." And they didn't need your help to get the conversation going.

I hate to quote Pepsi, but all you needed to do was join the conversation.

3: Listening is key

How do you guys contribute to the conversation especially with girl talk going on.

You're making it complicated. This is easier than you think.

Just listen actively.
Ask follow-up questions based on what someone just said.
Give up trying to control the conversation.

A conversation isn't about YOU. It's about all the people involved, collectively.

4: Trying to talk too much is needy

I did do a lot of talking tho just not as much as I’d like. It felt to awkward or needy.

You've got it wildly backwards. Doing a lot of talking and dominating the conversation, is what's needy and awkward.

But this feeling you felt, is totally understandable. Men are often encouraged to feel like they're supposed to be in charge of everything at all times when it's simply not true.

Sit back and relax. Even if there's just one other person, the load for the conversation is shared. With two people, you didn't have to do a lot at all.

You had the opportunity to steer the conversation in so many interesting directions to learn about those girls. Follow-up questions are powerful.

Instead, you may have spent your time worrying that you weren't doing the most of the talking. Which is ironic because this might mean you came off as if you weren't quite plugged into what they were saying.

How does it feel when you're talking to someone who isn't listening to the words coming out of your mouth?

Title	Contributing to the team
Author	Twobithatter
Upvotes	2
Comments	2
Date	October 16, 2017 5:04 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/76obs2/contributing_to_the_team/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/contributing-to-the-team.1435356 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435356

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