When it comes to just pursuing casual sex why exactly is it bad to be honest and direct with your intentions?

Slimnerdyloser221 · 2017-11-14T21:27:53+00:00

Like even when it comes to just wanting sex is it really still a requirement to play the annoying indirect game?...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Kakeshihayabusa221 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]moontripper1246 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

See though you were being an ass. And you were calling them sluts. Being direct goes beyond using words. And that's not an indirect game. That's a fact. When you're fucking a girl, you are not speaking with words. But with body language you're telling her she's fucking hot and she's gonna make you cum. Now, imagine saying those words to a girl without having sex with her. "You're fucking hot and you're going to make me cum," That's fucking weird and you're being an ass. You did the same thing. "Hey, I think you're really hot and I want to fuck you. Will you fuck me?" while it sounds nice and flowery it's really you putting the ball in her court. She has to make all the moves. Girls who make moves are sluts. You are asking her to declare to herself and the world that she's a slut. I get that this is confusing, but its reality. Don't like it, never learn it, stay confused.

So instead of saying these things. You show them these things. Though sub communications, through physicality, through eye contact, through making actual moves instead of asking a girl to fuck you.

So when I say be direct and honest, I mean be direct and honest through every medium. When you first meet up with her hug her and whisper something sexual into her ear. Give her better longer/better eye contact than you do with other girls. Tell her that you really like her and ask her out on a fucking date. These are all direct moves. Straight up asking a chick friend to fuck you.....I mean it's worked for some people I know but It's not my style. I'm just saying.....I think you have the wrong idea of what being direct and honest means. And in your misunderstanding you're making an ass of yourself. If you weren't you'd still have your friends. Just saying.

[–]Slimnerdyloser221[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I asked said friends because of their acts of being promiscuous and I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask if they'd be interested but they took it in a negative way which doesn't make sense.

Also sluts are nothing more than sexually promiscuous women who choose their partners based on whatever preference or mood they are in. I see nothing wrong with that and it's STUPID to shame sluts just because they're honest about their desire to have casual sex on their terms.

As for your idea of showing, you're basically telling me to be indirect instead of direct....which again I'm starting to understand that in the end girls wanna be moved into sex not asked...

And if you must know, those friends rejected me because in addition to my "having the nerve to ask." they don't wanna waste their time with a virgin who doesn't know what they're doing.

[–]moontripper1246 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

they took it in a negative way which doesn't make sense.

You don't wanna acknowledge the possibility that you 'asked' them in a genuinely uncalibrated/inappropriate way and so you're just labeling them as crazy. Or the situation as crazy, and a fluke. You may need to recognize that you actually made a misstep to grow from this experience. Or not and I'm full of shit, idk what actually happened.

Also sluts are nothing more than sexually promiscuous women who choose their partners based on whatever preference or mood they are in.

That's accurate. And it also applies to all girls everywhere. Every girl has or doesn't have sex under those conditions you described. Every girl is a slut. They'll give it up for the right guy, and won't for the wrong guy. Chaste girls just have a narrower threshold for who the 'right' guy is. You, my friend, happened to be the 'wrong' guy even to your 'slutty' friends. Or, in pua terms, the girls rejected your approach, not you and you need to look at what you did wrong and re-calibrate.

But you don't seem to want to do that. Because you obviously weren't being an ass because your friends obviously still hang out with you.

I see nothing wrong with that and it's STUPID to shame sluts just because they're honest about their desire to have casual sex on their terms.

Yeah, on their terms. Not yours. Their terms are courting them in a different way that you did. And you don't like that one bit. Which is why you wrote this post.

As for your idea of showing, you're basically telling me to be indirect instead of direct....which again I'm starting to understand that in the end girls wanna be moved into sex not asked...

Again, for you going "direct"= literally saying a phrase like "hey let's go to my room and fuck, right babe ;)". That is one way of going direct. I won't explain the same thing 5 times. Hopefully you'll understand one day, because that means this problem will have been solved. And I hope that happens cause I want you to succeed, random internet man.

And if you must know, those friends rejected me because in addition to my "having the nerve to ask." they don't wanna waste their time with a virgin who doesn't know what they're doing.

Only they know if that's true. All you can do is take what value you can from the interaction and do your best next time. I'm saying the way you went direct is what gave you the response you got. Not the fact that you're a virgin. (Besides, I know a good handful of ex-virgins that didn't know what the fuck they were doing from experience, but who looked shit up online and studied before they actually had sex, and their first times were all great. so you being a virgin doesn't give you an excuse to not improve.) And so accepting that they rejected the approach, not you, and realizing that you can control your actions better is the best thing to do here. Not whine about how girls aren't fair.

Now, "having the nerve to ask". That's a really interesting sentence. Cause......I doubt you'd know about this issue, and I don't know how much it'll actually help you, per say, but it's a thing I've encountered a lot so i feel like writing about it. When you game up a looser girl, or a less than ideal girl and you're obviously waaayy more attractive than them, they become defensive on some level. And so if you go too direct with them (which would have worked very well with a more attractive girl, say, an 8 instead of a 5/6) they suddenly act like the purest virgin who ever walked and reject you. 1) because even tho they knew they'd be lucky to fuck you, they want to be treated with respect. they want to be treated like the greatest prize in the room, even though objectively their not. It's just how it is. And 2) Nope, i think that's the reason.

I don't think that has anything to do with your situation, but "having the nerve to ask" sounds like something one of those women would say loll.

Gotta say, I hope you learn to take useful lessons from this. But from the way you type it seems like you really really want to take personal offense from these girls and believe that your way of "going direct" was actually, well, skilled. Which it wasn't.

Search up: Sex God Method, and Squirting 101if you want to be prepared for sex. Literally all one of my friends looked at and his chick said he was fucking great. I've made a few girls squirt HARD with the squirting 101 techniques.

There's a lot of help out here if you're open to learning from your mistakes. It's all up to you. And no one else cares except you. Make your choice.

[–]Slimnerdyloser221[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You don't wanna acknowledge the possibility that you 'asked' them in a genuinely uncalibrated/inappropriate way and so you're just labeling them as crazy. Or the situation as crazy, and a fluke. You may need to recognize that you actually made a misstep to grow from this experience. Or not and I'm full of shit, idk what actually happened.

Putting their sanity into question wasn't the issue. I was merely stating how their reaction made no sense to me consider how nonchalant they were about the selection and the ease into which they would get into casual sexual relations and it confused me how when I just so happened to try asking they reacted the way they did.

That's accurate. And it also applies to all girls everywhere. Every girl has or doesn't have sex under those conditions you described. Every girl is a slut. They'll give it up for the right guy, and won't for the wrong guy. Chaste girls just have a narrower threshold for who the 'right' guy is. You, my friend, happened to be the 'wrong' guy even to your 'slutty' friends. Or, in pua terms, the girls rejected your approach, not you and you need to look at what you did wrong and re-calibrate.

A girl is considered a slut once they had a certain amount of casual sexual partners. You're not a slut if you've had only serious relationships with every guy you had sex with nor are you a slut from having a mere two or three casual sex partners you need to have a certain amount of casual sex partners. But kudos on you being accepting of the title slut unless most girls.

As for my approach I acknowledge perhaps asking them assuming that even if they weren't interested they'd be reasonable in their response was the wrong call, I certainty didn't expect them to use my virginity as a strong negative. And please don't make assumptions about me...

Yeah, on their terms. Not yours. Their terms are courting them in a different way that you did. And you don't like that one bit. Which is why you wrote this post.

Uh no I accept a girls right to refuse a casual sex offer, I just didn't understand the point of the fall out along with them bashing my virginity for my simply casually asking that's it. It's how they aggressively cut me off for simply asking is what I didn't like not them turning me down.

Only they know if that's true. All you can do is take what value you can from the interaction and do your best next time. I'm saying the way you went direct is what gave you the response you got. Not the fact that you're a virgin. (Besides, I know a good handful of ex-virgins that didn't know what the fuck they were doing from experience, but who looked shit up online and studied before they actually had sex, and their first times were all great. so you being a virgin doesn't give you an excuse to not improve.) And so accepting that they rejected the approach, not you, and realizing that you can control your actions better is the best thing to do here. Not whine about how girls aren't fair.

One of the girls specifically used my virginity as a huge reason why they wouldn't have sex with me while laughing in my face about it(she was the one who said I had nerve to ask) so there's that and the other girl I asked just felt awkward now that she knew I was interested in her in that way and she feared as long as I stayed a virgin that would make the friendship uncomfortable...As for researching All I can do is look up info and how to make the first time good which is what I've been doing for a while now but if I don't use what I learned into practice I'll forget or not care. It's not as if I don't think girls and their rules are unfair it's yet again I have severe troubling understanding why.

Now, "having the nerve to ask". That's a really interesting sentence. Cause......I doubt you'd know about this issue, and I don't know how much it'll actually help you, per say, but it's a thing I've encountered a lot so i feel like writing about it. When you game up a looser girl, or a less than ideal girl and you're obviously waaayy more attractive than them, they become defensive on some level. And so if you go too direct with them (which would have worked very well with a more attractive girl, say, an 8 instead of a 5/6) they suddenly act like the purest virgin who ever walked and reject you. 1) because even tho they knew they'd be lucky to fuck you, they want to be treated with respect. they want to be treated like the greatest prize in the room, even though objectively their not. It's just how it is. And 2) Nope, i think that's the reason.

Eh well I do admit I that this particular girl wasn't super attractive like at all, in fact she was a few years older than me and she was had low self esteem....You have an interesting way of looking at the situation that I never considered that's for sure.

Gotta say, I hope you learn to take useful lessons from this. But from the way you type it seems like you really really want to take personal offense from these girls and believe that your way of "going direct" was actually, well, skilled. Which it wasn't.

It's not like I thought it was a skill or anything, I just thought it'd be easier to just ask instead of playing games when all I'm looking for is to simply get laid and since they reacted the way they did I'm left debating if being indirect or pretending I want more than what I want is really the only way.

Search up: Sex God Method, and Squirting 101if you want to be prepared for sex. Literally all one of my friends looked at and his chick said he was fucking great. I've made a few girls squirt HARD with the squirting 101 techniques.

Annnnd yes I will definitely look those up.

[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

it confused me how when I just so happened to try asking they reacted the way they did.

Yeah I really wish I had something constructive to say, but I can't cause I didn't see what happened.

A girl is considered a slut once they had a certain amount of casual sexual partners. You're not a slut if you've had only serious relationships with every guy you had sex with nor are you a slut from having a mere two or three casual sex partners you need to have a certain amount of casual sex partners. But kudos on you being accepting of the title slut unless most girls.

Just so you know, for the sake of a depth of knowledge, what you just expressed here describes a madonna/whore complex. It can lead to some significant issues in a relationship later on if you're unaware. You should look it up in the archive here.

I just didn't understand the point of the fall out along with them bashing my virginity for my simply casually asking that's it.

Things fell out because you basically expressed that you only saw them as sluts and didn't car ego put in enough energy to seduce them, even lamely. Bashing your virginity was a little bit of revenge. "oh yeah, I'm a slut?! Well your just a fucking virgin!" Something like that. You should realize that your actions caused their reactions.

One of the girls specifically used my virginity as a huge reason why they wouldn't have sex with me while laughing in my face about it(she was the one who said I had nerve to ask)

Look to the above response.

the other girl I asked just felt awkward now that she knew I was interested in her in that way and she feared as long as I stayed a virgin that would make the friendship uncomfortable...

That's interesting and I sympathize with her. Again, I wasn't there and maybe she was being sarcastic and you didn't catch it but this perspective makes a lot of sense to me. I don't have sex with virgins anymore cause they're weird (no offense). I personally expect a similar point of view from women.

It's not as if I don't think girls and their rules are unfair it's yet again I have severe troubling understanding why.

I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Too many negatives. if you're looking for resources to understand women start here, here, here, here, and here.

My personal favorite is YaReally's archive. He's a beast. I like gunwitch he taught me to go sexual properly. Blackdragon teaches me to control an OLTR. TD is memorialized in PUA culture, he needs no intro. RSD.....honestly, I suggest either torrenting their actual products or looking up their youtube channels and start watching from the beginning (4years ago). Its all pua, so if you have some personal rule about not being a pua then don't bother.

it confused me how when I just so happened to try asking they reacted the way they did.

Yeah I really wish I had something constructive to say, but I can't cause I didn't see what happened.

A girl is considered a slut once they had a certain amount of casual sexual partners. You're not a slut if you've had only serious relationships with every guy you had sex with nor are you a slut from having a mere two or three casual sex partners you need to have a certain amount of casual sex partners. But kudos on you being accepting of the title slut unless most girls.

Just so you know, for the sake of a depth of knowledge, what you just expressed here describes a madonna/whore complex. It can lead to some significant issues in a relationship later on if you're unaware. You should look it up in the archive here.

I just didn't understand the point of the fall out along with them bashing my virginity for my simply casually asking that's it.

Things fell out because you basically expressed that you only saw them as sluts and didn't car ego put in enough energy to seduce them, even lamely. Bashing your virginity was a little bit of revenge. "oh yeah, I'm a slut?! Well your just a fucking virgin!" Something like that. You should realize that your actions caused their reactions.

One of the girls specifically used my virginity as a huge reason why they wouldn't have sex with me while laughing in my face about it(she was the one who said I had nerve to ask)

Look to the above response.

the other girl I asked just felt awkward now that she knew I was interested in her in that way and she feared as long as I stayed a virgin that would make the friendship uncomfortable...

That's interesting and I sympathize with her. Again, I wasn't there and maybe she was being sarcastic and you didn't catch it but this perspective makes a lot of sense to me. I don't have sex with virgins anymore cause they're weird (no offense). I personally expect a similar point of view from women.

It's not as if I don't think girls and their rules are unfair it's yet again I have severe troubling understanding why.

I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Too many negatives. if you're looking for resources to understand women start here, here, here, here, and here.

My personal favorite is YaReally's archive. He's a beast. I like gunwitch he taught me to go sexual properly. Blackdragon teaches me to control an OLTR. TD is memorialized in PUA culture, he needs no intro. RSD.....honestly, I suggest either torrenting their actual products or looking up their youtube channels and start watching from the beginning (4years ago). Its all pua, so if you have some personal rule about not being a pua then don't bother.

it confused me how when I just so happened to try asking they reacted the way they did.

Yeah I really wish I had something constructive to say, but I can't cause I didn't see what happened.

A girl is considered a slut once they had a certain amount of casual sexual partners. You're not a slut if you've had only serious relationships with every guy you had sex with nor are you a slut from having a mere two or three casual sex partners you need to have a certain amount of casual sex partners. But kudos on you being accepting of the title slut unless most girls.

Just so you know, for the sake of a depth of knowledge, what you just expressed here describes a madonna/whore complex. It can lead to some significant issues in a relationship later on if you're unaware. You should look it up in the archive here.

I just didn't understand the point of the fall out along with them bashing my virginity for my simply casually asking that's it.

Things fell out because you basically expressed that you only saw them as sluts and didn't car ego put in enough energy to seduce them, even lamely. Bashing your virginity was a little bit of revenge. "oh yeah, I'm a slut?! Well your just a fucking virgin!" Something like that. You should realize that your actions caused their reactions.

One of the girls specifically used my virginity as a huge reason why they wouldn't have sex with me while laughing in my face about it(she was the one who said I had nerve to ask)

Look to the above response.

the other girl I asked just felt awkward now that she knew I was interested in her in that way and she feared as long as I stayed a virgin that would make the friendship uncomfortable...

That's interesting and I sympathize with her. Again, I wasn't there and maybe she was being sarcastic and you didn't catch it but this perspective makes a lot of sense to me. I don't have sex with virgins anymore cause they're weird (no offense). I personally expect a similar point of view from women.

It's not as if I don't think girls and their rules are unfair it's yet again I have severe troubling understanding why.

I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Too many negatives. if you're looking for resources to understand women start here, here, here, here, and here.

My personal favorite is YaReally's archive. He's a beast. I like gunwitch he taught me to go sexual properly. Blackdragon teaches me to control an OLTR. TD is memorialized in PUA culture, he needs no intro. RSD.....honestly, I suggest either torrenting their actual products or looking up their youtube channels and start watching from the beginning (4years ago). Its all pua, so if you have some personal rule about not being a pua then don't bother.

Hey, thanks for the interesting convo. Glad your strong enough to voice your own opinions and not just agree with whatever a random person on the internet says. Good luck with your friends, peace u/Slimnerdyloser221.

[–]Slimnerdyloser221[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Things fell out because you basically expressed that you only saw them as sluts and didn't car ego put in enough energy to seduce them, even lamely. Bashing your virginity was a little bit of revenge. "oh yeah, I'm a slut?! Well your just a fucking virgin!" Something like that. You should realize that your actions caused their reactions.

I didn't specifically ask them stating "You're a slut wanna have sex." I just said "Would you be willing to take my virginity?" I DID ask them because of my knowledge of their sexual history however. I mean they never showed any signs of being ashamed of their promiscuous behavior. And at the time I thought it would just be plain awkward if I were to try to seduce them so again I thought asking was more to the point.

That's interesting and I sympathize with her. Again, I wasn't there and maybe she was being sarcastic and you didn't catch it but this perspective makes a lot of sense to me. I don't have sex with virgins anymore cause they're weird (no offense). I personally expect a similar point of view from women.

Yeah I'm aware of the stereotype that virgins tend to be clingy after sex. GIRLS are the biggest culprits of this practice. Me personally for my first time I just wanna have sex and leave but soooo many girls seem to believe that won't be the case for me...Heck the one who gently rejected me claimed sex changes people and she didn't wanna be the one to be responsible for that change casually.

I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Too many negatives. if you're looking for resources to understand women start here, here, here, here, and here.

I'll give those a look too.

Hey, thanks for the interesting convo. Glad your strong enough to voice your own opinions and not just agree with whatever a random person on the internet says. Good luck with your friends, peace u/Slimnerdyloser221.

Damn right I'm not the type to just blindly agree with someone without challenging or trying to learn more first. Good talk to you too.

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	When it comes to just pursuing casual sex why exactly is it bad to be honest and direct with your intentions?
Author	Slimnerdyloser221
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	November 14, 2017 9:27 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7cyyci/when_it_comes_to_just_pursuing_casual_sex_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-it-comes-to-just-pursuing-casual-sex-why.1436858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436858

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