I met a girl and we've hung out a few times, and I really like her. I can feel the neediness kicking in and I'm not sure what to do about it

ethical_pa · 2017-11-15T17:53:31+00:00

I've come to this realization recently, but take my advice with a grain of salt; I'm a beginner.

It is true that it's about neediness. But it's also about something else. In the seduction phase (before she is your girlfriend), women don't want comfort or respect. I'm not saying disrespect them, I'm just saying they haven't earned that yet. If you give them these things, it will turn them off. (Obviously, you want to give them enough comfort by showing them that you are social and well calibrated; not a psycho).

In the seduction phase, they want confidence and you to not be afraid of your own masculinity. You need to show them that you can and will have your way with them when the time comes. I'm pretty sure I fucked up a current situation because, in part, I failed to do this.

A lot of us guys move too quickly from "oh wow, I like what I see" to "oh she's great, I think I want her to be my girlfriend". Women move more slowly. They want you to be in the "oh wow, I like what I see" phase a little longer... much longer actually. You being dominant, she being submissive. You being the predator, she being the pray. This doesn't mean that you have to disrespect or objectify women. It means that you need to move at their pace of attraction.

Back to your situation: you are already screwing it up. Take a look at what she wants: she told you already, in so many words. She wants to feel like she is being seduced. She wants you to be in the "oh wow, I like what I see" stage. What are you doing? This:

I feel myself really liking this girl and worrying too much about if things will go right. Now I start to worry about the little pointless details
share occasional snaps and that's it. But then I even get hung up on that.
she opens it but never responds. And then I get all worried.

You need to stop this shit right now.

" So fellas, how do you play it cool when things start going well between you and a girl you really like?". You don't play it cool. You have to tap in to your inner masculinity. Stop fuckin fantasizing about a Hollywood romance or some shit, and be honest about what initially attracted you to her. You want to fuck her. All that sappy shit, she's not there yet. That's fine AFTER she is emotionally invested. You need to take a break. Stop texting her or communicating with her for a a bit, while you reset yourself.

EDIT: It's counter intuitive I know. You want to reach out to her and "fix" things but you are almost certainly going to fuck it up. Back off. You might fear losing her if you stop communicating with her, but your chances are MUCH higher this way. Fix your mind set first, rather than trying to "convince" her; it's not going to work.

moontripper1246 · 2017-11-16T03:13:17+00:00

Have fun. She sounds sweet.

equation_x · 2017-11-16T22:53:59+00:00

Abundance mentality

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