Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

Noctosynthesis · 2017-11-30T16:14:46+00:00

Hey gents,

Here's a good article by Chase. It has some social psychology citations in it, too (read: not evolutionary psych/biology).

Here is the introduction:

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

PROSOCIAL BEHAVIOR IS ATTRACTIVE

We’ve discussed on Girls Chase before the impact that dominance has on women’s attraction to you. However, an interesting bit of research into prosocial behavior had some curious additional findings.

What researchers found was that when a woman observed a man behave in a prosocial way toward someone else (of which gratitude is a big part), he received a large attractiveness boost. Not just in a general sense of attraction; in the first of three studies the researchers conducted, women rated men who behaved in a prosocial way as 14.4% more physically attractive than their peers (women who rated these men without seeing any of them behave in a prosocial way rated all the men as equivalently attractive). Yet more intriguing was the interplay researchers found between dominance and prosocial behavior. The researchers found these curious effects in their second study:

A nondominant but prosocial man is less attractive than a nondominant, nonprosocial man (if you’re not dominant, it’s actually slightly more attractive for you to not be prosocial) Yet a man who is dominant and prosocial is significantly more attractive than all other types of men (dominant and nonprosocial; nondominant and nonprosocial; nondominant and prosocial). For instance, with regards to sexual attractiveness, the dominant and prosocial man is:

+28% more sexually attractive than a dominant, nonprosocial man +39% more sexually attractive than a nondominant, nonprosocial man +49% more sexually attractive than a nondominant, prosocial man If you are already a dominant man, who does the things we advise you to do with girls:

He takes charge and leads on dates and in courtships

He controls the frame of his conversations/interactions He asks for and gets investment from women ... if you then mix in prosocial behavior, your attractiveness goes up over a quarter.

(even more if you were something else other than this or dominant and prosocial)

Worth noting that prosocial is only a boost if you are also dominant; dominant + prosocial = male at the top of the food chain. This is the elite level male who is able to be thoughtful toward and considerate of others without being a jerk; this is the genuine man.

On the other hand, if you aren’t dominant, being prosocial actually makes you less attractive. A nondominant, prosocial man is 7% less sexually desirable and 3% less physically attractive than a nondominant, nonprosocial man... though he is 9% more socially desirable.

In other words, a man who is both dominant and prosocial is the most desirable guy out there for both hookups and dating.

Meanwhile, a man who is not dominant but is prosocial is a really great fit for the friend zone.

So before you go too gung-ho on prosocial behavior (like gratitude), get your dominance down first. Get women to invest, make sure you control the frame, and lead your courtships.

Then it’s time to start mixing in prosocial behavior.

Emart5517 · 2017-11-30T20:58:45+00:00

In r/seduction they just talked about not owing anyone anything. Now This is saying to say thanks? This is getting confusing.

Title	Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	29
Comments	9
Date	November 30, 2017 4:12 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7gnea5/gratitude_is_attractive_so_tell_her_thank_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/gratitude-is-attractive-so-tell-her-thank-you.1437700 https://theredarchive.com/post/1437700

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