Sell me on "The Game"

recyclablebanthas · 2018-01-18T05:43:03+00:00

TL;DR: You have some misconceptions. Read through, or skip through to #9, where I pose a question to you, in bold.

1

the idea of approaching and "charming" a girl flat-out makes no sense to me. If I think a girl is cute, I'll go up to her, compliment her, introduce myself, and strike up a conversation.

You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about what "seduction" is.

Approaching someone, introducing yourself, striking up conversations..... these things are very much in line with the whole idea of "charming" people.

The confusion might be because of how the media has often portrayed "Pickup artists" and how many of those PUAs actually portray themselves, if they're really trying hard to attract clients for a business they're running.

But "seduction" itself doesn't REALLY involve tricks or anything special to "charm" people. You just go out there and socialize. As you describe. Conversate, etc.

You can increase the odds by working on your confidence, how comfortable you are with your body and with being close to others, etc. But at the end of the day, half of the "game" is going on inside of the girl and we really don't have control over that. The best we can really do is learn to get out of our own way and get comfortable taking chances to capitalize on chances that we happen to find.

2

I don't think much about my body language or how I present myself, and if she's not interested I shrug my shoulders and let her be.

You don't need to fuss over your body language. If you have confidence in yourself, then the body language works out. As does the presentation. The guys who fuss over body language are guys who are trying to buildup their social skills from really low levels.

If you're doing what you do already, this doesn't apply to you.

Of course, if you want, you can always look at what guys like Richard La Ruina or RSD Tyler have to say about night game if you want to try something outside your comfort level. But it's probably not necessary if you're after a relationship.

3

Maybe I'm misunderstanding something about pickup artists, but the whole concept is beyond my grasp.

No, it's not. Modern pickup artists started the latest PUA movements because they were social geeks who wanted to have better social success after going through high school striking out with girls the whole time.

Maybe you're over-complicating this, but I believe you can understand this.

4

I'm not particularly judgmental about it so long as you're respectful and aren't approaching women in inappropriate contexts, but I just don't see the benefit.

Well, now you're kind of choosing to be tone-deaf, aren't you?

Are you really going to tell me that you don't understand why guys who have never had social success, might end up getting drunk off that social success once they figure out how to get some of it?

That's a very human thing to do.

5

The way I see it, how you present yourself doesn't change who you are as a person. A girl might like your persona, but that gives zero indication of whether or not you're actually compatible.

Oh, I see. You seem to assume that modern pickup artistry is based on NOT being yourself.

That's not really true.

Though there are issues with the old school stuff, for sure.

Style found himself compelled to cheat on the woman he wanted to commit to, because he got addicted to all the validation he got from constantly sleeping with new partners.
And Mystery has had issues being able to create a solid relationship that doesn't implode into drama.
And there's a good case that's been made by a guy who used to hang with both of those guys, that old school game, circa the time of The Game, involves a lot of mindsets and techniques that work fine for flings, but provide the false security of control, at the expense of real emotional intimacy.

6

If I'm rejected after approaching someone and being myself, I take that to mean that I'm not compatible with that girl.

As you should. I don't see the problem. Perhaps you're making the common mistake of seeing the whole "Seduction" community as being a single monolith, as having the same philosophy. This couldn't be further from the truth.

There are PUAs who hate women and often hate themselves.
There are some guys who want to make up for lost time, by sleeping with a lot of women. Almost like getting revenge on their past.
There are guys who don't know what they're doing.
There are guys who are just trying to promote a business, and attract lonely guys with the promise of a magical cure for what ails them.
There are guys who are addicted to the validation of sleeping with new partners all the time.
There are guys who figure it out enough to get a serious relationship, and then drop out of "the game."
There are some guys, who have moved on from Old School Game and now place "seduction" in the larger context of just trying to lead a life that's socially and emotionally fulfilling without having to compromise who one is.

7

If I do get a date, more often than not I find myself cutting ties myself because I find her boring.

If you find a lot of people boring, that might be an issue. It's one thing when it doesn't click. But there should be some basis to find almost anyone interesting, if you know how to connect.

8

What I want to ask is what peoples' real motivations are here.

That's going to vary. I'm sure you'll see a lot of different responses. People are here for ass. They're here because they're lonely. They're here trying to improve themselves. And so on, and so on.

9

Is there any application to having "game" other than casual sex?

"Seduction" is merely socializing. Social skills have wide applications if you want to socialize.

You already have a certain degree of "game," based on what you've already said. The question is, what aspect of your social life are you unhappy about, and what would you like to improve? Sounds like you mostly need to find a way to improve your exposure to new people. You seem able to interact just fine with strangers.

Though you may have a strange block about approaching strangers in certain situations.

10

And if so, how would you defend/promote being conscious of the aura you give off?

Being aware of how social interactions work, is not a bad thing. Self-awareness is a good thing, and having it doesn't imply anything negative.

molchz · 2018-01-18T08:45:31+00:00

You should start with the doctors advocat

Lambdal7 · 2018-01-18T15:46:11+00:00

This can get you a girlfriend that is slightly less good looking than you, but you'll almost never get a that is better looking than you. If you are very good looking that is just as good looking as you, you won't get her without game.

The exception is if you have very high status, then you don't need game as much. You need good looks, game and status if you want a super hot stunner that also has an interesting personality and is smart.

hunterpua · 2018-01-18T21:04:26+00:00

When I saw the title I was loading up to sell you on Neil Strauss' book titled "The Game". Lol

But man, I've read your post and you seem to be content. I've been in the game for around a decade now and I've practiced, studied and trained so much that I got good enough to become a coach but I have no issue with the way you approach your dating life. The saying goes, "If you're happy with what you've got, keep doing what you're doing."

The Game in short is for guys who are not content with their dating lives and want to make it so they get the kind of life they aspire to. Trying to sell the game to someone who is already happy with his dating life is like trying to sell water to someone who isn't thirsty.

Title	Sell me on "The Game"
Author	KevineCove
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	January 18, 2018 4:59 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7r7d6x/sell_me_on_the_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/sell-me-on-the-game.1440251 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440251

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