Back when there were dinosaurs and shit, people thought online dating was weird and exclusively the domain of computer nerds and (dare I say it) people who hung out on forums like Reddit all the time (lol). How times have changed. Now, in this age of tech that we live in, if someone says they’re dating, some of the first questions to pop up are “Which apps are you using?” “Do you message people first?” and “How selectively do you swipe?” Now, if you’re dating OFFLINE, people are shocked and a bit taken aback by your bravery and optimism and hoping you can find someone out there… in the wilderness of the real frickin’ world. But you know what? It can and should be done.

Keep this in mind when approaching people offline

Focus on your mindset You will have absolutely no chemistry with 90% of people you meet in real life. That is a truth. Chemistry is uncontrollable but your mindset it totally under your control. If you go into a place solely searching for ‘The One’, you will probably be disappointed. If you head in there to meet people, make some new friends and learn shit, then hey, you’ll be fine. And if there’s chemistry, great! If not, also OK. Friends are valuable within themselves.

Where can you find people offline?

1. Expand your social circle You only know so many people. If you want to meet someone IRL, you’ll have to meet a bunch of people. This is where your friends come in handy… If you’re feeling bold, you can ask them to set you up (and tease them that it’s a test of how well they know you) OR you can just make sure you don’t miss any birthday/housewarming/ work party/ wedding party/ their dog’s engagement. You’ll hopefully have fun regardless of whether or not you meet someone.

2. Do more stuff alone OK so going with friends is fine. But there are HUGE and underrated benefits of being brave and going solo. Being alone WILL NOT make you look weird; it will in fact do two things: 1. It will make you seem more approachable. People will be less intimidated than if you have a bunch of friends around you, so it will actually be easier for them to talk to you. 2. It will push you out of your comfort zone and you’ll kind of have to talk to people – use your fear and make it push you to do this. Make Meetup and Facebook events your BFFs.

3. Places single people hang out Contrary to popular opinion, not all single people spend all their evenings at bars… Try creative, interest-based places that people with kids wouldn’t have time to hang out in (just saying). E.g. coffee shops, bookstores, galleries etc. Practice being present whilst offline in these places and not just glued to your phone screen…

4. Singles’ events Yes, GO ffs! Once you’ve tackled your demons and put yourself in the room, you will know that it’s not THAT scary. A quick Google of ‘Singles events near me’ will come up with a gold mine of results. And if it’s still too much to handle, use some of these conversation starters to break the ice once you’re there.

5. When doing things you’re interested in Actively pursuing your interests will not only create a more fulfilling environment for you, but you’re more likely to meet people with similar interests as you. Don’t just go to singles parties and places you think the opposite sex will chill out – look out for yourself too! Take a class, pursue a sport, start playing an instrument or be creative in any other way you see fit. Yes, it takes up time, but if you want to meet people, expand your social circle and get dates…. then you’ll have to invest time.

What do you think? If you have any more ideas, let me know and maybe I'll add them to the full version of this article - where I also talk more on your mindset and confidence hacks.