I always wait too long to ask a girl out, and when I finally do she's no longer interested.

zfgee · 2018-02-04T06:15:48+00:00

Upwards of a month? What the actual fuck? You fear of rejection is AUTOMATICALLY causing you to get rejected. Glad you realise this.

Stop being a pussy. Rejection is a prerequisite for dating and sleeping with women you are really attracted to. The best way to immunise yourself against rejection is to experience it regularly. The fear never goes completely, but you can act in spite of it.

Maybe some day game is in order. Nothing will accelerate the number of times you are rejected (and thus, get you used to it and able to ACT in spite of it) more quickly than approaching women in the middle of the day.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-02-04T08:07:28+00:00

I am so afraid of failing that I only ask a girl out once I'm sure she'll say yes. It's like building a "case of attraction/interest", taking all the evidence into account....

Look, YOU have to do the work here in your own mind to fight these negative thought patterns of fear that lead to you delaying your attempts so long that the moment passes.

You want evidence? You've failed every time you waited so long. How's that for evidence? You have to remind yourself of this fact.

Want another fact? Either way, I'm telling you: it's false to think you can establish proof in any real way, before you take a risk and ask her to hang one on one.

All this hand wringing and you trying to "gather data" before you ask. It's fucking bullshit and on some level, YOU know this.

The only way to start gathering real data/evidence, is to:

Start paying attention and really tuning in when you interact with someone.
Withhold judgement going in. Curiosity should literally be the ONLY goal initially. You don't know jack shit about her at first. Let alone whether she's someone you'll want to date or whatever.
If you do enjoy an interaction, say you'd like to chat again or whatever, and suggest swapping contact information.
Once you've done that, she'll respond positively or negatively, or maybe ho-hum. Positively means it's good so far but no guarantees.
You invite her out one on one. It's only one on one, with even some small bit of physical escalation going on, that she'll start giving you real fucking evidence in response to the escalation.

Title	I always wait too long to ask a girl out, and when I finally do she's no longer interested.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	February 4, 2018 6:01 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7v53dg/i_always_wait_too_long_to_ask_a_girl_out_and_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-always-wait-too-long-to-ask-a-girl-out-and-when.1441112 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441112

Comments