I’m not always very outgoing or confident, but lately after reading some self-development books and getting to know and like myself my self-esteem has risen greatly for the first time in months, this was reflected in my social interactions throughout the week. For example, today my day started off great. I felt socially free and uninhibited in college the whole morning, joking around with everyone, even with this girl I’m into. At lunch I had a 30-min long free-flowing conversation with a hot girl from my class, but then she had to leave, leaving me on my own. After that, a teacher (also a friend) nearby told me to sit with her and two other male teachers, which felt uncomfortable as they are much older. One of them asked me if I wanted a soda and I replied awkwardly due to feeling uncomfortable around them. The fact that I responded awkwardly killed all the momentum I had in terms of sociability and free self-expression and felt as if I was ‘put back in my place’ or reminded of the awkward, socially anxious person I really am and that I am abnormal and on a lower level than most others in terms of socializing, which makes me feel like I’m not a person worth talking to because I can’t even function socially, even though I know that when I truly feel able to be myself I can act as normal as anyone and even attract girls, which is the state I was in up until that awkward situation. This tends to happen a lot when I seem to be having a breakthrough.