Quick recap :

  • Last year, first real relationship. With a gold digger. Brutal clash between reality/my BP state. End of the relationship, no huge damages (no children, no marriage). Severe depression, suicidal tendencies, failing in college.

  • Entered monk mode. Fixed depression, one itis and not hooked on porn anymore. Am fixing things in college.

  • 11 months without sex. I begin to feel the need to have some sex.

I have not had a conversation with a girl in 11 months. I chose so because I wanted to swallow the pill without any outside BS influence. I am very social, outgoing and fun to be around. Or I should say I was. Since I've not talked to women in 11 months I don't know how I will talk to them now that I see them for what they are.

Of course I've had a few small talk with women and most of the time I end up talking with disrespecting sluts so I called them on their bullshit.

A few times I talked to nice girls though. They treated me well and the conversation were great.

Any advices on how to get sex is welcomed. It feels like I can't feel connection with a girl anymore. Of course I would LOVE to fuck some but sharing a connection...? Similar interests with a girl that has an...interesting personnality?....Fuck, does that even exist?

Anyway I've planned on working out every day. Not a full work out but some push ups, abs and leg work every night. I've also decided to handle my skin problems and to pay attention to what I'm wearing so it can only get better from now on.

I just think I have issues meeting women because I cut contact with nearly everyone in college. That's because I felt stabbed in the back by most people here who witnessed my ex cheating and never said a word to me. Plus some friends betraying me and some shit like that.

Because of monk mode I've been staying at home studying, making plans for the future and improving. I've also been avoiding women at the begining of monk mode and then I didn't want to have anything to do with them. So here I am now, alone and wanting sex.