So this is how it goes down - Last night was the first night on my own in a new town. I don't have any friends and today is my birthday, so I was like, fuck it. I am going to go conquer this city. It's a small college town so there are always some beautiful girls out on any given day. I find a club that closes at 2 am, its a gay night, but hey, that means there will be less competition, so I assume.

So I roll in around 10:15ish pm into the club. It's a small club with gay guys and some women, but honestly, there were like 4 people on the dance floor. Maybe because its a Sunday, I am not sure. I freeze up, I walk down chest held high acting like I own the place, trying to look forward and let anyone check me out as they may, hopefully woman. And I go straight into the bathroom, wondering, what the fuck am I supposed to do here. A little bit of back story, I never went to clubs in college or my early 20's, so I feel like I missed out. I know I am suppose to just have fun, but I don't have any friends here and don't know what to do. Honestly, I am really just used to day game (sure I get nervous and say stupid shit while doing it, but 7 times out of 10 I cant approach a girl walking by herself). This was hard, I didn't see any attractive women sitting by themselves that I could easily flirt up. So I am standing there the bathroom, just thinking what do I do next. I go out, check out another area and see more random people hanging out, and then literally go out the exit. I see another bar that supposed to have a dance floor, and I also see what mainly looks like couples, no single females by themselves and not that many people honesty (it is a Sunday night).

So after that, I go to a strip club and end up spending nearly $600 and leaving at 1 am...Yes, 600 with two zeros. I get two strippers numbers for what its worth, but neither has texted me back. Honestly, this was a bad decision for me. When I was in grad school, I got sucked into an addiction with strip clubs, spending so much money and just hanging out with strippers by myself. Like a type of live porn where you think, hey, maybe they like me, (and out of the 30 or so I've interacted with, probably only 2 legitimately did), but its stupid and puts a person in rut.

Anyway, its my birthday now. I want to go out, but its a Monday night. I feel like if I do go out, (1) I wouldn't be able to find many women, and (2) I wouldn't know what to do. Honestly, I am just worried I don't make another dumb decision and go to the strip club, especially since its only like 3 blocks from my place.

UPDATE - So last night, even though I knew I should've have...I ended up going to the strip club again and wasting $200. I don't know why I went there when I clearly know they are bad for me, it's like I can't control myself. I don't know why I go there, ego boost? Validation? It's clearly counter intuitive, but maybe its me trying to win the game of making a girl like me that is already an uphill battle. Anyway, no more strip clubs for me, I will really drill that in my head.

I have a date with a girl (cute fitness instructor) I met via a day game a month back and are finally able to line up tonight. I am going to focus on that, and have a nice time, maybe end up with a f-close but will just go with the flow and not seem desperate for sex.