So like, is it real that competition exists between humans right?

There’s this book sperm wars which talks about how other men are in competition for the egg and they actually kill eachother under a microscope when mixed. Google it. Goes deeper: Men’s uncircumcised penis’ are actually sperm pumps to “suck out” other men’s sperm in their woman’s vagina. They simulated it in a lab and a full vagina is pumped out like 90% of the other mans sperm fluid.

So.... I don’t want to play anymore. Relationships. Life. Why bother? It’s sick. At a biological level I apparently have to murder other men to “get her”.

How does anyone walk around and have a healthy attitude with other people? Especially with the opposite sex? What is love? Sharing? Is all just bullshit when it comes down to survival? What am I not seeing, right?

I mean apparently I have to murder my brothers to “win”: on a biological level according to this truth.

What kind of sick evolutionary game is that? If that’s the truth of reality, why continue?

Why play this shit? Now I know why people become celibate nuns and monks.

Like, what’s a healthy view of other people to walk around or befriend other men or women if we’re all just competing over these resources, including mates?

How does anyone have friends? How can any man trust another man in the vicinity of his woman?

If this is the game and the arena of life, and the true rules, the difficult truth of reality that’s difficult to face, I don’t want to play anymore.

Can someone help me? Or is that it? That’s “the game” of dating? I don’t want to play anymore.

TL;DR Apparantly Men And Women are biologically born to kill the competition so their genes survive. So why even play this sick human game? What is love? Helping others? Light? Kindness? How can friendships exist? How can anyone get married, when so many other mates are circling around your prized lover at so many moments in their life?

Honestly it Life is this sick game, I don’t even want to play it. Can anyone shed some light here? Or is that the way it just is, the truth, like, the sky is blue, if you don’t eat for three days you starve to death. Likewise, if you aren’t more attractive, you lose your mate and die to the better mate: man or woman. But how can anyone even be in a relationship or a LOL long term marriage knowing this truth? I don’t even want to look at the opposite sex anymore this is so sick, right? I love people.

There’s NO WAY you can be the top 1% attractive person on the planet right, so cheating is like built in. I honestly just want friendship and “love” if that’s even real. Can anyone shed light on all this? Or like the lion coming to eat the gazelle, it’s just a sick fucking fact of nature? Is there a healthier, lighter worldview here that’s realistic and truthful? I feel like an alien. I don’t even want to be human anymore. Even when you “win” her you still lose because there’s a corpse of another man (or if you’re a woman; another woman right) behind you. How can I ever make male friendship again? Trust a woman long term around any other men? Fuck life? Over dating? Is there a healthier caring way to view this here?