Not sure how I look

_SuperSaiyanRose_ · 2018-05-19T14:43:25+00:00

You need to love yourself, I know,"easier said than done" I have some self-esteem issues sometimes, as a guy that's kind of rare. But when I get noticed by a girl and she shows hints of attraction I get a boost of confidence, as a blunt and honest person I'm telling you to LOVE YOURSELF.

Don't categorize every guy as the lying for sex type, cause how can you find the happy relationship you want with that mindset? look in that mirror with optimism tell yourself how good you look today, SMILE. (People will find you attractive if they see you having a good time and smiling not worrying, just living in the moment)

It's a tough road, but then again the toughest roads come with the best rewards

aDuggie · 2018-05-19T16:49:11+00:00

My best friend is exactly like you but only 2 years older (we're both 21). She is always in leggings and hoodies because she's insecure about her body even though she goes to the gym everyday and has a phenomenal ass. She has guys checking her out and friends talking about how pretty she is both in front of her and behind her back without her knowing, but she doesn't believe it. If I never met someone like her before, I'd be baffled and wouldn't understand why a girl like that would think in such a way, but she told me why she never believes me when I say she's gorgeous. Her reasoning is:

1) Guys only hit on her friends and not her (she has some hot friends tbh).

2) No guy she ever liked, liked her back or acknowledged her in any way. (I found this out because I told her every girl i liked so far like me back and she got jealous :P)

3) Every good looking guy she meets friend zones her

(There are some others, but these are the major ones)

She doesn't have mirrors in her room because she doesn't like looking at herself and she even joked about how she used to take hot showers and finish her routine in the bathroom before the steam clears off the mirror.

If you can relate yourself at all to my best friend, here's my opinions on your conundrum. I cant speak for women, but most non-desperate guys typically don't put the effort into giving a girl genuine compliments unless they want you or it's worth saying. They may have anterior motives but disregarding the purpose, the actual act of giving the compliment is a huge compliment in itself. Most of us also like confidence. If you feel insecure because certain guys don't like you, it may not be your looks that's the issue but your personality. Low self-esteem to me is a turn off and i think a lot of guys can agree. If we tease you or playfully insult you, we don't mean to actually hurt your feelings and we don't expect you to reflect on it before sleeping at night or in the shower. It's very attractive to meet a girl who confident and don't need their looks verified by others every moment they can get. ex, "how do I look?" sounds a lot more confident than, "does this dress look too tight?" if there's an issue, we'll tell you, provided we're actually paying attention.

Confidence is easy to build alone if you have an easy to fix issue with your body. If you're overweight, as you lose weight you'll boost your self esteem. If you're bad at something, as you practice, you'll get more pride in honing your skills and build confidence. It's hard to get prettier though, and you can only work with what you have. In your case, try using other people to build your confidence. Say, "Fuck it" and put effort into what you wear or style yourself in a different way that compliments your assets (body, features, personality, etc). See how people react and see if people like it without asking them for their opinion. Hopefully, the more you're complimented on your style without prodding, you'll gain confidence in how you present yourself and that will aid you in seeing yourself in a better light. My best friend once did this, and if we hadn't been friends for so long and I didn't sister-zone her (or I get brother-zoned) I would have ask to take her out in a heart beat provided I could overcome the butterflies in my stomach. Hopefully this wasn't too anecdotal and you can take something useful out of this!

Rocky__c · 2018-05-19T16:59:57+00:00

Look, don't worry about how other people see you. unless you are deformed or obese, there will be a lot of people who find you attractive, it is actually harder for Women to hold the frame of "i am smoking hot" but can still be done.

WIA20XX · 2018-05-19T14:32:49+00:00

Hard to make a call with no pics.

Robo_dogo · 2018-05-19T23:57:03+00:00

It's hard to think you're not attractive when you see models (air-brushed) on magazines, TV, social media and think that's the base line of what men find attractive. It's really not. Reality is that unless you're obese, men are going to find you attractive. We are not difficult to figure out.

But you're teenager and still figuring the world out - what is true and what is false. You see air-bushed models every where, so your brain thinks you're ugly. You have conditioned your brain into believing a lie. Once you figure out the truth, and consistently reinforce it to your brain, you'll see who you really are.

Nottodaymate · 2018-05-20T06:46:48+00:00

I’d say that for others to love you, you have to love yourself first. That worked wonders when I did. 21 y/o male here

Title	Not sure how I look
Author	b2829
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	May 19, 2018 2:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8kljun/not_sure_how_i_look/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-sure-how-i-look.1446858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446858

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