Right off the bat, I am not a natural at flirting, seduction etc. I just wanted some opinions from those that are on something I've noticed recently. That said, for context I am perfectly reasonable at social interactions and I'm a great listener (based being told so).

Anyway..

One thing that I have come to realise I struggle with is that my innate opinion of being 'honest' is in fact viewed as the opposite, being 'dishonest' by others. To explain, my first thought upon meeting someone new is to get to know them better, regardless of whether I think they are physically attractive or not. If I do happen to find them physically attractive, my instinct isn't "oh this girl is attractive so I have to treat her differently to make it clear I'm into her". I just think that I should treat her the same as anyone else initially. Anything other than that seems superficial to me. Once I start to get to know them as a person better is when my natural desire for more than friendship starts.

And here in lies the problem. To me, being honest is not diving in assuming you're attracted to someone as a person and treating them differently right from the start. Being honest is treating everyone the same and allowing your feelings for someone to develop (or not develop) as you get to know them. To others, getting to know someone as a friend to then later say you are attracted to them is being dishonest, and often considered a 'play' of some kind.

I understand their point of view, but it's not me being dishonest, it's just I don't know how I feel about someone until I know them better, and acting into someone without knowing feels forced and superficial so I find it difficult to even act as such. It's just not me, and it wouldn't be an honest representation of who I am. As I'm sure this sub knows all too well, women can irrepairably lose interest quickly so it does not sit well for me!

Interested to hear thoughts, sure some of you have got some strong ones. I'm probably over thinking it..