Friendzone after sex with coworker, then mixed signals. How to deal with it?

SandyShoes08 · 2018-08-14T14:33:35+00:00

She's fucking other dudes and dangles a carrot in front of you when she doesn't have a dick for the night but wants some validation. Plus, don't shit where you eat. NEXT the bitch and move on

medresptech · 2018-08-14T14:54:50+00:00

A word of advice. Don't get mixed up with coworkers unless you hate your job. It frequently ends poorly and can affect your job. Now since she has told you that she felt you didn't click with her, you should just stay away and not risk an escalation, especially at work . Very few people are going to say "I didn't enjoy sex with you". 95/100 will say they enjoyed it and you are amazing, even if they didn't like it. So I wouldn't use that as an indicator of anything, it's meaningless. Hell even I have pretended to enjoy it when really I regretted it. My best advice is to move on because she is looking for something different.

untouchable_0 · 2018-08-14T16:35:41+00:00

Was she drunk the night you hooked up? These seem like texts that come when you are a little drunk and horny to gauge interest.

2018-08-14T17:59:01+00:00

Ok the co worker part makes it not ideal for various reasons and this one is one. Like she said, you didn't click. Now she's there where you work making you wonder.

Regardless, why the obsession and looking into stuff ? Is she that great ? It's a moot question. You don't know in the short time frame. But judging by what she's doing, she doesn't sound like a catch.

Honestly, move on man. She fell for you initially, right ? So others will too. And if she eventually comes back for more, it's up to you to either accept or not. You're a prize, now act like it. Stop nitpicking what she does and how she does it. It's not your job to decipher her. Either she's straightforward with her shit or you'll just find someone who is.

So let's get practical here.

First you ask yourself what you want from her and quit thinking about what she wants. Let's say, for instance, you want sex and maybe to get to know her better and see if she's worth it.

Second, you quit playing her game. You have your objective now and it's either that or nothing. Ignore her texts. Once in a while try to schedule something. If she bites, great. If she doesn't, quit texting her at all.

Third, go out there and find out that there are many girls looking for someone and not being aware of that creates scarcity mentality and behaviors which might be construed as needy.

DaddyLH · 2018-08-14T15:10:33+00:00

Be thankful she hasn't manipulated things at your work to get you fired. Be thankful you are both still on good terms. Be thankful she hasn't yet resorted to spreading rumors about your penis size, sexual abilities, or idiosyncrasies.

> So, after a few months of flirting

The flirting was the fun, but after you gave her sex you removed all mystery. Unfortunately the sex was OK.

> First of all I was surprised because I felt that we had a really good time together, and the sex was great too (she repeatly said that “I was in her head” and that I knew “exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it”)

This is one of those things everyone says after average sex because they don't want to hurt another person's feelings. Average sex is OK, but it won't separate you from other partners.

Generally if someone can still talk, I'm not satisfied. I want my conquests to scream, pass out, squirt, and/or lose the ability to speak. I think a good ratio of male to female orgasms is 1:5 early on. Multiple orgasms are a requirement.

Get some books.

But u/Psychological_Treat, I don't know how to make a girl cum over and over. Get a Vibratex Magic wand, a vibrator that plugs into the wall. Unfortunately, there are a lot of knock-offs so you'll have to probably buy one at an actual sex shop. Get an NJOY stainless steel pure wand. Again, lots of knock-offs. These are expensive, top tier toys. Consider them investments.

(I am so serious, I actually have two magic wands, one as a backup. The manual says the magic wand only has a duty cycle for 30 minutes out of an hour. You need two if you want to run it continuously.)

I don't want compliments. If I get a compliment the only acceptable compliment is, "You are the best partner I've ever had." "That was the best sex I've had."

It sounds like there are other men in the wings who are better, sorry man :( Great sex is what makes you sticky as a partner. Great sex is what makes women call you at weird hours begging for sex. Great sex is what makes ex's message you years later.

> Only the day after she dumped me, she texts me and send me a selfie from her vacation. She texted me in middle of the night. It felt strange, but maybe she wants to become friends, I thought. Especially since we are coworkers.

A part of female identity, is establishing orbiters. These are people a woman has either fucked once and will probably never fuck again, or people she leads on that she may fuck some time in the future, or maybe never.

To be considered an orbiting body, you need to be captured by the planet, so ... you'll get text messages, pictures, etc, to drag you in. Then some amount of constant drama, to keep you in orbit. It's entertaining. I'm entertained reading about it :)

> She texted me in middle of the night.

... Did you say "come over?" When someone you've had sex with texts you late at night it's typically only for one reason, they are horny. It sounds like it may have been a booty call.

Otherwise.

u/SandyShoes08 said it best, don't shit where you eat. Moving on, showing less interest, not playing games is a very good idea.

Title	Friendzone after sex with coworker, then mixed signals. How to deal with it?
Author	Dennasidaupp86
Upvotes	16
Comments	8
Date	August 14, 2018 2:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/978s0r/friendzone_after_sex_with_coworker_then_mixed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/friendzone-after-sex-with-coworker-then-mixed.1451686 https://theredarchive.com/post/1451686

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