Disclaimer: For those who can’t be bothered to read this long ass post, I’ll leave a TL; DR for you at the end of the post, so you can just skip to that right now if you want. I’ll try my best to make it as short, sweet and concise as possible. Also, I know this subject may not be directly related to women but it does sort of tie in with what I’m posting, so that’s why I’m posting here. Lastly, I want to apologize in advance to those of you who may see this post as whinny or me being a little pussy. This is just my way of conveying my feelings since I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this and I don’t like talking about my emotions with other people very much. Again if this post comes off as whinny, my apologizes.

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I’m so sick and tired of being lonely with barely any friends, never having girl’s interested in me and being the world’s most boring man. For the record, I’m an average looking/slightly unattractive 5’5, 162 lb. black male with an average body (I’ve never been cut or ripped but I’ve always had an ok body and been in above average shape. I also really enjoy working out). I feel my social skills are utter garbage and not really sure how to go about improving or where I even begin. I know that most people would say to practice talking to people to improve and I agree but the only problem is that I’m not a fan of approaching strangers, ESPECIALLY attractive females. This is mainly due to the fact that I’m not a very good conversationalist and I feel like I’ll sound like some boring nobody. If it’s someone I know or am familiar with, it’s a lot easier for me but it never goes beyond, ‘’How was your day’’ or ‘’ so how’s school going’’, those sort of conversations. After I’ve already talked about the basic/formal stuff, my mind goes blank and I never know what to say to keep the conversation going. This makes me feel boring as shit to talk to and end up feeling slightly down afterwards. Hell this even happens sometimes with my mother, probably one of the few people I’m most comfortable talking to about certain things (Not all the time though, she can be a piece a work herself too but that’s another story for another day). This problem becomes even more apparent when I’m talking to cute girls (only the ones I know which are very few in number, 1-2 in fact). To give you guys a perfect example of what I’m talking about, I ran into one of my old schoolmates today before I had to go to class (I’m a 19 freshman in college btw). We kind of have history together, attending the same Christin school aka private school and were in the same grade and class (Private school works a lot differently than public school, which would take way too long) but other than that. We were aware that each other existed and might talk every now and then but it never went past that. Anyways, this is basically how the initial interaction went:

*We were standing a feet away from each other while waiting for our classes. Happens to notice me after she notices that I was looking in her direction* (I wasn’t staring but I was kind of checking her out since she had a nice outfit on)

Her: Oh, hey!

Me: Hey, what’s good?

Her: What did you say? (We were standing a feet apart from each other)

Me: I said, hey what’s good?

Her: Oh, nothing much.

Me: Oh ok.

Me: Are you taking music appreciation too?

Her: No, I’m taking Stage building * I think that’s what she called it*

Me: Oh, so what exactly do you do in there?

Her: We build stages.

Me: Oh.

Me: Do you guys build for school plays or stuff like that?

Her: *Goes on to explain, it only took 5~10 secs so wasn’t that long. I also complete forgot what she told me because I was distracted by how pretty she was*

This was more or less the entire conversation went and the initial reason as to why I was ‘’motivated’’ to write this post in the first place. I felt like such a boring loser after that interaction. You want to know what the funny thing about all this is though. A couple months back, when I first ran into her, I talked to her for way longer than this. The conversation wasn’t super long or anything and still wasn’t as good as it could have been but it wasn’t nearly as short as this joke of an interaction. And this happens all the time with people I know. I run into them after a long period of not seeing them, I’m able to talk and hold a convo for a good while but the next time I see them I can never seem to get past, ‘’how was your day’’. Why all of a sudden now I can’t find anything more to talk about? Aren’t you supposed to be able to talk more when it’s people you know? Idk. I would like to write more but right now I can’t really think of anything so I’ll stop here. Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do or where to start to improve socially?

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TL; DR: Social life sucks and looking to improve but not sure where or how to even begin. Also really bad at holding conversations with people I know and don’t know and desperately need advice getting better in that aspect.