He Asked Permission to Touch, but Not to Ghost [NYT]

WIA20XX · 2018-09-08T20:31:33+00:00

This article does not paint her in a good light.

"Sex makes me feel unsafe, not because of the act itself but because my partners so often disappear afterward, whether I waited hours or months before the first time. So it’s after sex when I feel truly vulnerable."

This part, he asks for consent, and she doesn't like it.

"Yet something else about his asking also made me uneasy. It seemed legalistic and self-protective, imported more from the courtroom than from a true sense of caretaking. And each time he asked, it was as if he assumed I lacked the agency to say no on my own — as if he expected me to say no, not believing that a woman would have the desire to keep saying yes."

It's an interesting read in these times

0001none · 2018-09-09T03:32:48+00:00

what is the alternative here? should we make it illegal to not call people back? its called freedom of choice. I read the article closely and saw nothing wrong with his behavior. the reason adult relationships mean something is because no one is forcing them to happen at the end of a gun

spnger4life · 2018-09-08T21:23:47+00:00

There is something in the guy's head that is telling him that he can't trust her decision making. For whatever reason he feels that he must be reassured that she is comfortable throughout the interaction, and that her lack of accountability could get him into trouble. This woman is 30, she is not going to tell her parents or local authorities to arrest him, and she is an adult who is able to make decisions and follow through with them. The guy might come across as being sweet and caring, but he is only looking out for himself, and she can tell when he ghosts her. You can tell she wants to submit to him fully, but he is preventing himself with the constant permission-seeking.

Title	He Asked Permission to Touch, but Not to Ghost [NYT]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	5
Date	September 8, 2018 6:51 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9e6i94/he_asked_permission_to_touch_but_not_to_ghost_nyt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/he-asked-permission-to-touch-but-not-to-ghost-nyt.1452987 https://theredarchive.com/post/1452987

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