How to get her interested once you go up to her - day game

hunterpua · 2018-10-02T18:03:57+00:00

This question is basically about attraction. What you need to be aware of is that there are 2 types of attraction, passive and active attraction.

Passive Attraction is just what you live with every day of your life and works for you without you thinking about it. These are things like confidence, leadership, the things you're really good at, the things you're passionate about, social intelligence, social proof (the friends you have, the kind of people you associate with, the kind of crowd or scene people perceive you to be part of, etc.), and your looks.

Whether you're hitting on a girl or not, these things are always true about you. If you're confident you're confident, if you're not, you're not. Obviously, these are things you can change and develop so if you have low levels for some of the things I listed then I suggest you improve on those areas, when you do you'll notice women react way more positively to you right off the bat without you needing to do anything extra.

Active Attraction is what you use when your level of passive attraction is just not enough to make her swoon. Active attraction is when you actively do something within your interaction with a woman to cause her to be attracted to you. This is what people refer to as "Game". These are the techniques and methods guys can use to get women who are out of their league.

In order for you to use Active Attraction effectively, you must understand a certain mechanism that causes attraction, that is Investment. The harder we work for something, the more we want it.

If you think about everything you value in your life, chances are you have invested a lot in those things/relationships/people, whether its a large monetary investment, an investment in your time, an investment in effort and energy, or simply an investment in emotions.

I used to think its weird that Game of Thrones fans consider Emilia Clarke to be stunning when in my opinion she's just pretty cute but then I realized a large reason why people think that is because they have a huge emotional investment in her. Game of Thrones as a show is amazing at making viewers feel all kinds of strong emotions and when you commit to follow a show and therefore its characters, your emotional investment in them just keeps growing as you watch more and more episodes. People actually have very strong opinions on these characters and can even get into real life fights because of disputes about them. I know my comment about Emilia Clarke only being pretty cute is likely to garner some hate from GoT fans.

That's the power of investment. And investment is exactly what you will rely on when using active attraction to get a girl into you. You can think of Passive Attraction as Emilia Clarke's actual looks and Active Attraction as Game of Thrones' storytelling compounding the attraction people feel for her.

So the question then becomes, "How do you make a girl invest?"

The short answer, qualify her (i.e. make her prove herself to you).

The slightly longer answer, qualification is the main way you can build a girl's investment but you can't just immediately start qualifying a girl and expect it to work every single time. Sometimes she needs a little more. After all, if you're just a stranger on the street then why the fuck should she feel the need to prove herself to you?

So at the very beginning of the interaction you need to focus on building comfort with her. Make sure she can trust you and that you don't do anything to weird her out or make her feel uneasy with you and also build up commonalities and rapport between the two of you. Just literally have a conversation and look for things you have in common and once you find something, go into that topic. You might find out that both of you are into soccer, well, if you're really into it and she's really into it then you can pretty much talk about that all day, can't you? Doing this will make her become more and more comfortable with you but you don't want to keep going down that road for too long.

As soon as a decent amount of comfort is built up between the two of you, you need to break rapport. If you think of comfort as trust and rapport, what you do is keep the trust but break a bit of the rapport. That means you don't get weird and freak her the fuck out but you do start to create a bit of tension between the two of you.

If you've heard of negs, teasing, push-pull, or disqualification, these are all examples of breaking rapport. Breaking rapport can be as simple as disagreeing with her. So lets say you both like soccer, now I'm sure there are certain parts of soccer than you can easily disagree on. For example, you may like different teams, you may have differing opinions on certain events, etc. You can bring those things up. What will usually happen when you have a disagreement? She will defend her point.

Now, if we leave it at that then you guys are simply going to have a debate but since we're talking about how you can use this to seduce her, what you do instead is qualify her.

See how it works? The disagreement wouldn't have worked if you didn't find the commonality about soccer and she wouldn't be in the mood to prove herself to you if you didn't have the disagreement in the first place. So what you should do instead of arguing your own point is forgetting about your own point and instead focus on qualifying her on why she believes her point. You need to focus on questioning her judgment, her though process, her general preferences. Even though you're challenging her stance on a topic related to soccer, if you keep the focus more on why she thinks those things and less on what the actual argument is then you can be sure she will be putting in a lot of effort to prove herself to you.

When you do this you should notice that you drift away from soccer or whatever you were talking about and towards more personal topics. I've qualified girls so far beyond the original topic that I often experience girls saying, "Wait. What were we talking about again?"

What's happening here? Investment. Suddenly you will go from pretty cute in her eyes to stunning. If you need more evidence to see just how powerful investment is, just look up the Sunk Cost Fallacy.

You can also watch infield pickup videos from reputable guys. You will see the build comfort, break rapport, qualify pattern in almost every single video. You may not see them bond too deeply on a topic, you may not necessarily see a disagreement as the weapon of choice for the break in rapport, you may see a neg or a disqualification used instead, and the qualification might just sneak past you but if you look hard enough, you'll see it. Especially if the guy has really good game, going through these stages is extremely seamless and sometimes very subtle. When you get good at this you can go from comfort to qualification in 30 seconds. It can literally be one sentence or even one phrase for each stage in the pattern. And its a cyclical pattern too so expect to see guys do it repeatedly over the duration of an interaction with a girl.

What I taught you was the basics but this shit gets crazy deep, definitely deeper than most guys care to go so if you watch infield pickup videos and suddenly become aware of what's happening because I just explained it to you, understand that you don't need to become amazing like the guys on Youtube. If you just get pretty good at building comfort, breaking rapport, and qualifying then you should already notice a massive increase in your success with women.

(Oh but don't neglect your passive attraction. Having high levels of that just makes everything so much easier.)

That's how you get her interested once you go up to her.

trev3795 · 2018-10-02T15:09:36+00:00

Hey, I'm a newbie in the game but whatever you say doesn't matter that much. If You are confident and smile all the time You are good to go.

Title	How to get her interested once you go up to her - day game
Author	trev3795
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	October 2, 2018 2:48 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9kr99j/how_to_get_her_interested_once_you_go_up_to_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-her-interested-once-you-go-up-to-her.1454337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1454337

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