I understand that building connection with new people generally happens when both parties start to lower their guard and loosen up. There are lots of ways to do it, one very common and easy way is through alcohol. However, I’m terribly allergic to alcohol, so I usually have to resort to banter.

Problem is, I’m a little bit clueless as to how to calibrate on the bantering, since it’s essentially a playful insult. Generally, what things are okay to joke about? How far is too far?

Thoughts? This could be in terms of male to male interactions or men and women on dates.

I particularly have trouble differentiating between when a guy is actually belittling and insulting me vs bantering to joke around. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and laugh it off, but the back of my mind just nags me thinking he went too far and I shouldn’t let someone talk to me like that. Yet if I call him out on it, and he claims he’s joking, I come off too serious and a party pooper.

Subtle sub communications in society is difficult..