Hello. Upper 20s, used to be serial monogamist until 2015 or so. Decided I wanted to have more fun.

I’m probably not as serious about the whole pickup thing as some people here. The extent of what I’ve gotten into has been Models by Mark Manson. But, I’ve got a great 9-5 job that allows me to go out twice a week with friends, get a bit tipsy, and approach from there.

Up until about 2 months ago, every time I went out seemed like it was met with success. A kiss here, a number there, a hookup there. It used to be that I could go out, hang with my friends for a while, and find some girl who wants to go home within the last hour or two of bar close. But the last couple months have seemed like a futile battle against some unknown force. Girls have been decidedly not interested in hooking up or anything I have to offer really. Since then, I’ve just been hooking up with a couple of girls whom I had already been before.

To be honest, the shittiest part is that I keep getting hit on by girls who are out of reach. I think this is what started it. For example, I was at my friends work party when I started talking to some girl. Totally not expecting to hit on her. She had been married for 2 years and was a coworkers wife. As the night went on we got drunker and had a lovely conversation full of subtext. Everyone at the party was wasted, including her husband, so no one cared. We flirted throughout the night, met in the bathroom once, and almost kissed. The next few days, I felt quite shitty about the whole thing. I was borderline blackout and had pushed the limits way too far.

And then, wouldn’t you know, she texted me. We’ve been texting for a couple weeks. (Clarification I do not intend on hooking up with this guys wife I’m not a monster). But there have been a few more situations similar where I’ve had an opportunity and decided not to take it (a friend’s ex who has always been into me, an acquaintance’s wife who tried to fuck me at a party, etc.).

But no matter how much I try the last couple months, I can’t seem to get anything. Chat with a girl for a few minutes, get tested and pass from time to time. Attempt to escalate, get knocked back. Then I see the girls I was talking to leave with someone decidedly more unattractive (??).

Possibly I’m drinking too much. Approached a girl last night. She was giggling about something, I asked her what and she said she’d already met me before. Remembered my name and everything. Felt like a fucking idiot, given that this has happened several times.

Anyway, I know this will change and I know eventually I will get past this. It’s been a bad statistical few weeks and possibly I’m a bit to blame for it myself. But it sucks to tell yourself “keep trying” when it feels futile. I feel like I’m pursuing a number that feels unobtainable and I don’t have the insight to understand why I’m trying to get laid from new women so much.

What do you think? Is it worth it trying to maintain this lifestyle when it has a make-or-break impact on your mental health? Do you feel like an asshole?

Keep your head up kiddos.