My life story, The strength of the alpha and that relentless appeal of the beta

What are some of your thoughts on what I did wrong, what I did right?

Alpha:

In college I was an NCAA athlete. I read “The Game” and mastered its teachings, took it to the next level. I was slaying girls without ever even ASKING for their name or number. On average I was leaving with the girl within 15 -30 minutes of first talking with her. Back to her place, leave at 5 am. Rinse, repeat. Hollow.

Very hollow. It was meaningless. Stories that I could tell my friends only take you so far, no one cares. Even the ones who are entertained don’t believe the exploits half the time anyway. The fun lasts a night, but in the morning you are again alone. I didn’t like this. I saw those in LTRs and they had a companion. I was jealous.

BETA:

Because of this when I found the person I wanted, I gave up EVERYTHING. I wanted her to be happy because she made me happy. I allowed myself to be controlled but was ok with it. After all, feeling emotionally needed is a fantastic feeling, a drug. I was happy. But my happiness wasn’t internal (as it should be) it was derived from another. Dependent on another.

When I graduated I had a job I was happy at, though I didn’t make much, it covered my needs and gave me experience. My SO decided to move (she could have stayed) so I moved with her. Job changed. I gave up what I had for her.

Consequence:

Relationship began to spiral. I was unhappy at my new job, so I was unhappy at home. She saw someone who was kinda pathetic. Soldiered on for 1 more year, I got a certificate so I could get a new job, an alpha job. The job required being part of a network that I did not have. It didn’t happen. Got dumped.

Alpha born again.

Realized I never should have left the job that made me happy. Who the fuck is she to judge me anyway?

Monk mode.

Landed a new job, new field. Alpha position at the job. Kicked ass. Started dating, found a new candidate. High wage earner (doctor), cute, seemed like we were best friends right away. She was divorced so she knew what she wanted. Worked at her relationship with her ex for years before pulling out. She values marriage. Saw early on that I could marry this chick. Life was good. Sex was great.

Got downsized. FUCK! Despite kicking ass and taking names in my role, experience trumps eagerness.

Not enough experience to get hired on at the same position elsewhere with a crappy economy. Too much BS pride to take something lower.

Beta comes back. Alpha –Beta fight it out.

Lost respect in my relationship. Called it out but she denied it. 3 months of unemployment. Felt defeated.

Took a sales job, started kicking ass early. Money started coming in but I was working way too much. Sales is a bitch like that. You want to win, you have to be on point all the time. You have to master manipulation. Become the trusted friend and advisor. Use questions to control the flow and where their mind is. Don’t give away too much info. They will walk. Just enough to keep the flow going and keep them interested. Ignore their questions as that is an attempt to control the conversation. You control it.

READ THE ART OF MANIPULATION! Know it. Live it.

As I was now failing at the 2nd tenant of the 2 basic female biological basis of attraction (provider and protector/ father figure) relationship still rocky. SO blamed her work. I blame (still do) her not being on depression meds. Really she didn’t respect what I did. I was good at it.

MADE GOOD MONEY.

Thought about buying a sports car.

Beta WINS

Bought big fucking ring.

I was working a shit ton, she made more than I did, more than enough for 2 to live on. Wanted a househusband. I left my sales job. I became her house husband.

READ SERVANT. I was now giving 100% of my time and attention to the SO. Got married.

Discovered TRP.

She started to withdraw. I wasn’t working, no real job prospects. Pissed that sex never happened. She blamed work the entire time. I started to doubt.

-Beta continues.

Couples counseling. I wanted to fix our relationship. She said counseling and blamed me in counseling. Everything was what I was doing wrong. She never said what she was doing wrong (required for counseling to work at all). I was honest in counseling but it wasn’t working. Time to start executing TRP.

Lean on wife to support me through school so I can get better job. Job that pays well, gives freedom to work from home so when we have kids, I will be able to support the whole family. Relationship still bad. Pulled the NUKE.

DO NOT GO NUCLEAR FROM A POSITION OF WEAKNESS.

Blew up in my face! She “fell in love” with a WOMAN. I tried to control it but from a position of weakness I had no power. Life seriously fucking sucks. New marriage collapsing. My future threatened. Rejection on a level I had never seen. When I needed her to support us she pulled out. I was in free fall.

Thought of suicide.

Gun lube tastes terrible.

Alpha perks up.

Realize that she can’t take away my new education. The job will give me freedom. She is mid 30’s. When her fling is over, SHE IS DONE. Biologically Irrelevant. 2x divorced. The wall is about to hit like a freight train.

ALPHA rises again.

I am a man. Talking to firms, going to get the good, stable job. Have the skills to start my own business. Thinking long term. In Monk mode again. Focused on the end objective. Without my wife. I realize I can get a girl in her mid 20’s, why bother with mid 30’s? Also realize that I can DESTROY my wife.

Position of strength achieved. Physically stronger, fitter. Hard cardio 3x a week. Lifting still occasionally. Thinking about supplementing for extra beast power. SMV is increasing. I know what cards I actually have.

So that leads to where I am today. I gave my wife a settlement offer that is honestly good for both of us. Fair. She has the option to take it, go to war and risk her life being ruined or fix the marriage. I don’t give a shit what she chooses. She shows physical affection for the first time since this all began 2 months ago. Happy to get the affection but I don’t care anymore.

Thoughts from TRP?