Hey dudes

Was recommended to come over to this reddit, looking forward to being more active here!

In this in-field report I wanted to highlight the importance of congruency [at minimum, perceived congruency], a seemingly counterintuitive self-confidence, and having a [perceptively spontaneous] planned course of action when you’re dealing with high value women.

This was a meetup from bumble.

The girl is a sociable, creative, and regal-looking Irish-bloodlined ex-track-and-field athlete turned professional marketer. Easy 9, body definitely a 10—she avidly kept up with her fitness.

After some goofy banter and chat over bumble; I was getting a very confident vibe from her, and we decided to meet at a local cafe/lounge at my recommendation. The place was packed when I arrived, I got a coffee and had to get a table in the breezeway.

She warned me off the bat that she would be dressed “comfy.” She showed up a few minutes after me, in a tight tank top that cut off right below her ribs, a light jacket, and some hole-y skinny jeans, hair in a high ponytail, almost no makeup—she was a walking neckbreaker.

As soon as she walked in to the breezeway through the double-doors to my side I noticed a lot of eyes go her way, so I turned to the side to see that it was her, our eyes met—and she gave a very warm smile as she was walking up. I channeled all of my confidence in the midst of nerves to not crumble under the tension I immediately felt rise up, smiled back, stood up, walked over and gave her a hug, which she reciprocated tightly.

I asked if she noticed any open seats as she was going through the cafe, she said she wasn’t sure, so I said lets do a walk through and see if there’s anything more comfortable, continuing in the pre-established alpha frame. As I led us through the cafe, looking for an available couch or something, I played off of her “dressed comfy” text as we walked, saying she looked fantastic and pulled off comfy very well, which I totally meant. (Dip into gradually increasing genuine indicators of interest soon into the interaction if they’re in your mind)

We found a couch that opened up by a piano and hunkered down. The initial body language was open, she was receptive, but not fully in a comfort zone yet—definitely was still screening.

Soon we started chatting a little about the cafe, some jokes and laughs sprinkled in, lightening the mood quite significantly, I was allowing myself to totally go with the flow and make whatever jokes I felt like, she responded well, I stuck with it.

Before long, after escalating in kino while teasing, a couple moments of sustained eye contact with an underlying tension, a few joking takeaway scares (along the lines of tsskkk ah yeah, this isn’t gonna work out then) we were facing each other, I had a knee on the couch, arm stretched out across the top of the back, and she had a leg draped over mine.

We had gotten to a couple more in-depth topics, and reached a point where I felt it was good to throw a curveball in the mix, and after a few moments of near-kiss-inducing eye contact I told her I wanted to play her a song—I stood up and hopped on the piano and played one of my favorite classical songs, after I finished there was a light applause, I did a goofy exaggerated bow and walked up to her, reached out my hand, her eyes sparkling, and said “Let’s go, I wanna show you something.”

I walked her out to my car, the sun had just set and the darkness was creeping in pretty heavily so I decided to go to an airport lookout 15min away that gives an awesome panoramic view of downtown, as well as a nice walkway to enjoy the planes taking off and landing with the star-lined sky in the background.

After I parked and we stepped out, we sat on a bench for a little, watching the planes, chatting about our pasts some, and after a few minutes I asked if she wanted to walk a bit. We walked and talked some more, it wasn’t long before it got a little chilly and we went back to the car. I had one more quiet and private destination in mind for the night, the top of a university parking deck right on the edge of downtown—giving one of the best, and relatively unknown close-up views of the city.

We started driving a little bit and I decided to pull a move that I saw online once.

I reached out my closed hand over hers, “Hey, can you hold this?”

She opened her palm, “sure.”

That’s when I interlocked my fingers with hers, out of the corner of my eye I saw her composure melt a little in her seat right before she looked at me with a befuddled gaze that eased into a very comfortable smile as she squeezed my hand back, looked straight ahead, and laid her head on my shoulder, no more words necessary.

We arrived at the parking deck, walked out, hand-in-hand, palm to palm, ‘miring the city, which looked phenomenal. After we approached the handrail in a tension-balancing silence, I turned towards her, looked her right in eyes, lips, eyes, and said “I had an incredible time with you tonight.” She smiled, looked away for a second, looked back and said “me too” and then looked at my lips, I took the cue after holding for a second and leaned in to kiss her, with a pause right before reaching her lips, allowing her to close the distance, which she did, and as it goes, the rest was history.

Evaluation: To stress and add even more context to how important the factors I mentioned at the beginning are. This girl is a professional, independent, driven, heavily reliant on her social masks—especially since she’d been taken advantage of in the past, her social circles included some powerful and influential people—we went to a gala with the Mayor a couple weeks later, she had just broken up with her ex: who was making probably twice my salary, had about 15 years on me (I was 21 at the time), handsome and fit af; no homo, had traveled some of the world with her, AND she had even went on a date with a wealthier attractive dude the night before our date at an expensive restaurant—which we talked and laughed about (typical chode with money), and despite all this, we ended up dating for a year after this date. (Wherein she gladly and proudly took my V-card)

The most game-changing factor for me to realize, that allowed for me to stand out among these other objectively high-value dudes was that women operate on a much different level of consciousness than men. They appreciate the nature, potential, and content of the guy’s character much more than the things that guys typically associate with success and romantic influence—which are all well and good, but they are not the PRIMARY things high value women focus on.

So back to those attributes:

Congruency: From the beginning I made up my mind to be expressive of my thoughts, to initiate the direction I wanted to take our interaction, and to display my character in the most genuine way I could—while allowing for my past social experience to run on autopilot and maintain witty calibration the whole way through—teasing, observing, not being intimidated by shittests but usually responding with a joke exaggerating it’s frame, and I carried this through to the end, letting this frame totally embody me.

Self-confidence: This does not mean I wasn’t nervous, this does not mean that my insecurities didn’t rise up, this does not mean that I didn’t feel my tendencies to get tense and veer into conflict-avoidance start to flare up, but when it did I chose to ignore it instead of falling victim to it, embracing what it was telling me and responding in kind instead of blindly reacting. Through my experience in past relationships and social interactions I knew that I was fully capable of being a high-value individual just by being myself, and that I was bringing enough value and perspective to the table that she’ll either fall for me if we vibe; or that it would end immediately—not wasting either of ours’ time if we didn’t.

Course of Action: Before we even met up I had hinted at knowing some good spots to follow up with from the coffee date, and had a couple places (depending on the weather) in mind that I already frequented and enjoyed on my own. Taking her to these places does a couple great things:

-Establishes a gauge for increasing compliance

-Provides opportunities to veer past basic small-talk, display congruence, and opens doors to kino escalation

-Keeps her engaged and fueling her imagination with emotional and neurochemical spikes

-Keeps her guessing, you’re establishing undertones of mystery and spontaneity

-You get to express leadership qualities and display your appreciation for sentiment, both demonstrating higher value

The underlying mindset:

Make it an adventure, make it epic, but first decide on what that means for you—so that every step of the way makes it adventurous for you while you can be true to yourself, as well as introducing a change of pace compared to the average chode and an adventurous atmosphere for her. She’ll feel that extra level of enjoyment from you (Rule #1 : what you feel, they feel) and will gladly fall into it while letting her walls crumble down; because it’s exactly what she’s been waiting for.