Are you struggling with either of these issues:

- You can attract girls, make conversation, get numbers, get dates, sometimes even get hookups, but often the girls tend to flake, or the interaction just fizzles out.

- You can easily approach girls, make conversation, etc. You find that she’s eager to hang out. But all too often the vibe never seems to turn sexual and you wind up in the friend zone without realizing it.

If you are struggling with either of those two issues, then when it comes to Attraction vs Emotional Rapport, you are either (1) not finding the right balance between the two and/or (2) you are creating them in the wrong order.

Let’s jump in.

What Is Sparking Attraction?

You guys know this. Sparking attraction is vibe of entertaining yourself. It’s the flirting, teasing and bantering. It’s changing the subject because a thought popped into your head and what YOU think is important and worth talking about. It’s leading her. It being carefree and indifferent to the outcome.

All of this can create intense attraction in women. If done properly, it can create enough attraction to pull the same night lay (just remember to Seed The Pull). However, if for whatever reason the same night lay doesn’t happen, you may be finding that the girl flakes and disappears (yes, even when you thought everything “went so well” the night before).

The reason this happens is because IF ALL YOU DO is just keep sparking attraction over and over and over, she hasn’t had much (if any) time to INVEST IN YOU. Without investment, you’re just a “random, funny, witty guy who she barely knows.” It’s easy to flake on people you barely know.

What is Building Emotional Rapport

You guys know this one as well. This is where you, the man, open up about yourself first, which gives her the comfort to follow your lead and open up about herself. This is storytelling and deeper questions. This is where she gets to learn something about you which goes beyond superficial things. And this is also where she invests in you by telling you things she wouldn’t tell “random guys she barely knows.”

All of this creates COMFORT and EMOTIONAL RAPPORT. It make her feel like she “knows you.” And it’s much less likely that she’ll flake on someone that she knows. However, the problem is that IF ALL YOU DO is build comfort and rapport; her subconscious will not see you as a sexual partner. She will see you as a friend. She may not flake, but she won’t sleep with you either.

Make Her Crazy About You

Getting girls thinking about you and calling you and chasing you is a matter of finding the right balance between Sparking Attraction and Building Emotional Rapport.

First Critical Thing To Understand: ATTRACTION MUST COME FIRST.

When you hear the term “nice guy,” that is a common way to simply say that “he started with building rapport first.” He believed that by building a connection and getting emotionally invested with a girl, that the attraction would naturally occur after.

That’s backwards.

Attraction comes first. Then, once you’ve got the attraction built up, you start layering in some rapport building.

Second Critical Thing To Understand: you must go “back and forth” between spiking attraction and building rapport (remember that spiking attraction is often breaking rapport – like teasing and disqualifying). Just another example that there’s a push/pull in everything about getting girls.

You start by creating attraction. Once you see some signs of attraction from her, you do a little emotional rapport building. Then it’s back to spiking attraction. After more signs of attraction, you do a little more rapport building (like for a little longer or a topic that’s a little deeper than the first time). Then it’s back to spiking attraction. Round and round the cycle goes.

How To Find The Right Balance

The right balance of going back and forth between Spiking Attraction and Building Emotional Rapport is basically this: (1) spend most of your time spiking attraction and (2) when you do switch to rapport building, you increase the duration by a little bit and/or you go deeper into a topic. There are no hard and fast numbers to follow, but the conceptual stages can be demonstrated like this:

- When you first meet her: 100% attraction building.

- After you start seeing signs of attraction: 80% attraction building / 20% rapport building.

- After you’re seeing significant signs of attraction: 70% attraction building / 30% rapport building.

If this occurs on the night you meet her and there is no same night lay, start the conceptual stages over again the next time you see her. And 70/30 is as far as you ever need to go. Remember, you’re a sexual partner, not a friend. She has friends (including friend-zoned guys) who she can dump 100% rapport building onto. You allow some so she feels emotionally connected to you. But you focus primarily on attraction, so she wants to bounce all over your tip.

If you're feeling this post, make sure to check out my latest video about Disrupting Her Normal Thought Process, to become instantly memorable around girls.